tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54585773092223597532024-03-27T15:24:02.951-07:00Synergy Autism PodcastThis podcast brings listeners the inside view of our autism community and how passionately we all work for the same mission - to better understand autism together.
Come along with Barb in this blog, as she takes the journey into not only sharing her knowledge and experience but also that of our diverse autism community.
synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-71201842090447893442024-03-27T15:19:00.000-07:002024-03-27T15:23:29.528-07:00Episode #69: Pathological Demand Avoidance - Conversation with Blake Baxter<p>Welcome to another episode of the Synergy Autism Podcast!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRuNiTqG5Tg1YZV_0FcLUoc74d4IixULWZXrlGzruj7ZIT3U-Wn-Qa-66AXAHfMiBEs8pFA0fyQSSKihdBCBLINSx75ISm78In1mtoBefCfg1XveXXY0us8KnGvYMa3HNDyWB0KxGKn5-NvNfqzK-qnfij5pUKChRO70saUAQRXeZmdxqgkpYZb6_wH7sU" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRuNiTqG5Tg1YZV_0FcLUoc74d4IixULWZXrlGzruj7ZIT3U-Wn-Qa-66AXAHfMiBEs8pFA0fyQSSKihdBCBLINSx75ISm78In1mtoBefCfg1XveXXY0us8KnGvYMa3HNDyWB0KxGKn5-NvNfqzK-qnfij5pUKChRO70saUAQRXeZmdxqgkpYZb6_wH7sU=w406-h305" width="406" /></a></div>Let's dive in to the profile of Autism called Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), also known as Persistent or Pervasive Demand for Autonomy. Lots of people are talking about it. It is a profile of a subset of the Autism population that has a specific threat response to demands... even those placed on themselves. Blake and I explore what PDA is, how to address it, and lots of other related topics you will probably hear in future episodes!<p></p><p>For more information about PDA: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/</p><p>And in reference to using the acronym PANDA for how to support those with this profile (see photo/graphic).</p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">MUSIC BY </span><a href="https://www.grahamlampemusic.com/" style="font-size: 14px;">GRAHAM LAMPE MUSIC</a></p><div><br /></div>And without further ado... here is the podcast!<br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1786062312&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-69-pathological-demand-avoidance-discussion-with-blake-baxter" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #69: Pathological Demand Avoidance Discussion with Blake Baxter">Episode #69: Pathological Demand Avoidance Discussion with Blake Baxter</a></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-26363299482826948282024-03-17T20:49:00.000-07:002024-03-27T15:22:39.234-07:00Episode #68: Autism and Empathy (Against Empathy)<p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg20-ZdgJ_JSZyNaNGYqQ2BGLkHibwlHUvDWNTKQnbSNL1Mpml5OLVOMNGkYTUJn7Xc_DwHt8Bgf0uY6jluLyx3Y0k2hFsH5hJT-5YR_tYgQHo3-SUgYfGdo8AB-GeCOQ9PPm53Fepbq-AelG2CwhLE1m9sSwc0MJSaDHIISHzqB-jkdOR4FPajlP2noMbL/s4200/Iteration%20no.%2041-1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4200" data-original-width="4200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg20-ZdgJ_JSZyNaNGYqQ2BGLkHibwlHUvDWNTKQnbSNL1Mpml5OLVOMNGkYTUJn7Xc_DwHt8Bgf0uY6jluLyx3Y0k2hFsH5hJT-5YR_tYgQHo3-SUgYfGdo8AB-GeCOQ9PPm53Fepbq-AelG2CwhLE1m9sSwc0MJSaDHIISHzqB-jkdOR4FPajlP2noMbL/s320/Iteration%20no.%2041-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Episode #68: Autism and Empathy <p></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">Against Empathy (book) by Paul Bloom</span></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">Blake Baxter and I dive into the book titled Against Empathy by Paul Bloom. As Blake puts it, "empathy has been weaponized against autism." Listen in to hear more about both autism and the concept of empathy.</span></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></p><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">MUSIC BY <a href="https://www.grahamlampemusic.com/">GRAHAM LAMPE MUSIC</a></span></div><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"></span></p><div><br /></div><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></p>
<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1777458903&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/blake-empathy-wav" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #68: Autism & Empathy (Against Empathy)">Episode #68: Autism & Empathy (Against Empathy)</a></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-71142220627416459662024-02-19T09:01:00.000-08:002024-03-27T15:22:28.847-07:00Episode #67: Blake's Diagnosis Story<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_kxjBcTopBQGTu6puka9G0iP03UycydavAbFrCTTBzWdSzXbpZpfCeIzYGL-uCE5HlJNemlPUAu6EoY4Yhp31P0X9sa6ECbAzQFz_jyLli7UCy58OZoUn8JytWbi2ol4ZGQr549wDrTzZYGWNvtzgEJoRlEVdtO8uk7E8HpwAnnxiL0USVJc5CWFnIT2c/s2250/blake%20baxter%202019.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2250" data-original-width="2250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_kxjBcTopBQGTu6puka9G0iP03UycydavAbFrCTTBzWdSzXbpZpfCeIzYGL-uCE5HlJNemlPUAu6EoY4Yhp31P0X9sa6ECbAzQFz_jyLli7UCy58OZoUn8JytWbi2ol4ZGQr549wDrTzZYGWNvtzgEJoRlEVdtO8uk7E8HpwAnnxiL0USVJc5CWFnIT2c/s320/blake%20baxter%202019.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">Listen in to Blake's story of his diagnosis in his 50's and how his life began to make more sense because of it.</span></p><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></p><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">MUSIC BY <a href="https://www.grahamlampemusic.com/">GRAHAM LAMPE MUSIC</a></span></div><p><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"></span></p><div><br /></div><p><br /></p>
<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1751769291&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-67-blakes-late-diagnosis-story" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #67: Blake's late diagnosis story">Episode #67: Blake's late diagnosis story</a></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-12035571011537799922024-02-19T08:59:00.000-08:002024-03-27T15:22:05.324-07:00Episode #66: The beginning of the Blake and Barb Podcasts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVljCroCJP2N9F8Ag8c-8uDGFAsRsC3jBXZvSyVKUMPilHIXeX48P2PHOlPYUfyasYv4LS4ZjFipKZO8Q_IuynGRnAj_eyLeNxC9N0RyITyl7OCOCF32TMzrx9P2ZZ-l1NwMtwGEXinSrCgStCuHy8OpZmLF7lmRFCwPZ5G4ay5jlAw2A-MldmDPJYDsDk/s1080/MS%20headshot%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVljCroCJP2N9F8Ag8c-8uDGFAsRsC3jBXZvSyVKUMPilHIXeX48P2PHOlPYUfyasYv4LS4ZjFipKZO8Q_IuynGRnAj_eyLeNxC9N0RyITyl7OCOCF32TMzrx9P2ZZ-l1NwMtwGEXinSrCgStCuHy8OpZmLF7lmRFCwPZ5G4ay5jlAw2A-MldmDPJYDsDk/w320-h320/MS%20headshot%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">My friend, Blake Baxter, shares the beginning of his diagnosis story (more in the next episode) and we are collaborating on a podcast series regarding the ambiguous concept of empathy. </span><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">This is part 1 of our series together as we venture together to figure out what is the definition of empathy and why it is assumed to be missing in those with autism when we have seriously different experiences. This is truly just part I. </span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">We will be reviewing books on Empathy, going deeper into his diagnosis, and more. </span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">Follow this podcasts to be alerted of upcoming episodes!</span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Inter, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">MUSIC BY <a href="https://www.grahamlampemusic.com/">GRAHAM LAMPE MUSIC</a></span></div><div><div><br /></div><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1705616739&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/empathy-autism-with-blake-baxter-part-1" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #66: The beginning of the Blake & Barb Podcasts">Episode #66: The beginning of the Blake & Barb Podcasts</a></div></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-52614397646940217552023-05-11T12:57:00.003-07:002024-02-19T08:42:45.630-08:00Episode #65: Let's Talk Inclusion For ALL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSQ7MhN7QqSzR6fJvB1HCHaQ2EUEPuPU9WVyJWHANxhoqfSNPIwTu6Pc2Jkj0Mr-VC_8V99w6U9PD7l52ahxMsia1G1x0bKZk8ag6U4J_KwP-b6LhTh1kpT0mIgYGqkjfEa_yYVs1SI_0-Rb0RnO4sRryl-1kRNOo_13tB-aSjTi69TXoh-3FAExEcfA/s7326/Inc_circle-logo-06.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="6578" data-original-width="7326" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSQ7MhN7QqSzR6fJvB1HCHaQ2EUEPuPU9WVyJWHANxhoqfSNPIwTu6Pc2Jkj0Mr-VC_8V99w6U9PD7l52ahxMsia1G1x0bKZk8ag6U4J_KwP-b6LhTh1kpT0mIgYGqkjfEa_yYVs1SI_0-Rb0RnO4sRryl-1kRNOo_13tB-aSjTi69TXoh-3FAExEcfA/s320/Inc_circle-logo-06.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><div>Listen in to this amazing Inclusion Interview with Dr. Pretti-Fronczak & Dr. Julie Causton. I feel blessed to have these two on my podcast to talk about the importance and criticalness of inclusion for all students now rather than later. Research is telling us it is the right way to be ensuring education for our children. Let's get our schools, classrooms, and students feeling successful together!
<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1512132979&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/inclusion-discussion-with-dr" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #65: Let's Talk Inclusion For ALL">Episode #65: Let's Talk Inclusion For ALL</a></div><div>We talked about a video to play at IEPs by Dr. Julie Causton. Here it is! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_8EwDZDfV0 </div><div><br /></div><div>Sample book chapters of their new book, The Way To Inclusion by Dr. Kristie Pretti-Frontczak and Dr. Julie Causton: </div><div>https://files.ascd.org/pdfs/publications/books/The-Way-to-Inclusion-sample-chapters.pdf </div><div><br /></div>
To learn more, go to: https://www.inclusiveschooling.com
And to learn more specifically about the upcoming professional development opportunity for school personnel:
https://www.inclusiveschooling.com/sli2023/</div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-38465199390918440162021-12-09T11:50:00.001-08:002021-12-09T13:29:37.867-08:00Episode #64: Sam Way's Discovery About Pacing Thanks to the Covid Vaccine<p><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1175000374&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-64-sam-ways-discovery-about-pacing-thanks-to-the-covid-vaccine" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #64: Sam Way's Discovery About Pacing Thanks to the Covid Vaccine">Episode #64: Sam Way's Discovery About Pacing Thanks to the Covid Vaccine</a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Episode #64: Sam Way's Discovery About Pacing Thanks to the Covid Vaccine<div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNrL4fu5UhOutItTSFkldqncBb0NrqVYbDtHAGDKcMrs6Cgthz7aBdLdJ220434Cv5TTcvo7t3WvaSY2fBfgTJyylUxIRNRkrjbNbTAWnCRB0j5IfK-UStJyn_alnUZwTd4yCYGWh23BOxaJMcqdSxejNKc6i5vo4_8pBqQuTbbVAaROsP_dSroM6IKQ=s1080" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNrL4fu5UhOutItTSFkldqncBb0NrqVYbDtHAGDKcMrs6Cgthz7aBdLdJ220434Cv5TTcvo7t3WvaSY2fBfgTJyylUxIRNRkrjbNbTAWnCRB0j5IfK-UStJyn_alnUZwTd4yCYGWh23BOxaJMcqdSxejNKc6i5vo4_8pBqQuTbbVAaROsP_dSroM6IKQ=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br />This young man is wise beyond words but struggled significantly with the idea of getting the Covid19 vaccines. He has had a long standing fear of needles, as many people, especially autistic people experience. He is hoping that his experience with finding some control over the procedure can help others who may be in a similar situation.<p></p><p>Listen in to hear this young man's discovery about how controlling the pacing brought down his anxiety about his covid vaccine.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-30044476311501249182021-11-02T21:28:00.001-07:002021-11-02T21:40:30.332-07:00Episode #63: Interview with Kit Falbo<span style="color: black;">Episode #63: Kit Falbo Interview</span><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1152895345&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-63-kit-falbo-interview" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #63: Kit Falbo Interview">Episode #63: Kit Falbo Interview</a></div><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsx8d5__t2gCQgjuqDcPd0o84UoeNiy9GSIyvmSQv8M9z2cuBD6OJu5qR0CdA3DnYgKgkvhVgdAKLL1gDrZ5YwUJ1Cq-G50Ks8gUjZri2hL_1oni8HVMnGgAwz49CMbfGTz0riaxENDNIG/s1080/podcast62+%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsx8d5__t2gCQgjuqDcPd0o84UoeNiy9GSIyvmSQv8M9z2cuBD6OJu5qR0CdA3DnYgKgkvhVgdAKLL1gDrZ5YwUJ1Cq-G50Ks8gUjZri2hL_1oni8HVMnGgAwz49CMbfGTz0riaxENDNIG/s320/podcast62+%25281%2529.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Kit Falbo is so interesting! He shares how he took his love of stories, science fiction and daydreaming into writing novels. He describes how he develops characters and integrates video games into his plots. He even shares about how his neurodiversity affects him as a novelist and parent.<br /><br />Find him on Amazon: <a href="https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#">https://www.amazon.com/Kit-Falbo/e/B07P58L8Y6%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share</a><br /><br />Kit's website: <a href="https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#">http://www.kitfalbo.com/</a><br /><br /><br /></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-82954729998653312392021-10-10T14:40:00.003-07:002021-10-10T14:56:46.791-07:00Episode #62: Interview with Pro-golfer, Billy Mayfair<p>Episode #62: Interview with Pro-golfer, Billy Mayfair</p><p><iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1139103970&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" title="Synergy Autism Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/billy-mayfair-podcast-62" title="Episode #62: Interview with Billy Mayfair" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Episode #62: Interview with Billy Mayfair</a></div></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfSkMWc7i9g5Lx8UxgdXhrd2K9IOy4Pt_8Uks4yBGqeHjMqlnClpL0y3QU9e0n7VgDMPJ6iHPe3LGEG_-7Li8JcklmMJqE9B2VnfM7o7ay-mKh5ppyhifB2pso3oGMYRcIvyp_plmOoM-/s1080/podcast62.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfSkMWc7i9g5Lx8UxgdXhrd2K9IOy4Pt_8Uks4yBGqeHjMqlnClpL0y3QU9e0n7VgDMPJ6iHPe3LGEG_-7Li8JcklmMJqE9B2VnfM7o7ay-mKh5ppyhifB2pso3oGMYRcIvyp_plmOoM-/s320/podcast62.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Listen in to my interview with one of the top golfers in the United States discussing his diagnosis of autism as an adult. He shares his story and is vision to support those surrounding people with autism, as well. It was my pleasure to have Billy Mayfair on the Synergy Autism Podcast. Please enjoy!<p></p><p>_________</p>Billy Mayfair is one of the top professional golfers in theUnited States and has been a regular on the PGA Tour since1989.He boasts five PGA Tour victories and is the only player to ever beat Tigers Woods in a PGA Tour playoff. He is currently playing on the PGA Tour Champions. Mayfair’s five PGA Tour victories include the Nissan Open(1998), Buick Open (1998), Motorola Western Open (1995),TourChampionship (1995) and Greater Milwaukee Open (1993). <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRKBRNHswwA6PwcDR-EPTWTugNh4mFfBdFyfOOC5oh226vFhwZxDIJvnaE6K77ByEcbW5j85uaxatL3ywJc1j8l1YU13j2SADOlaktRVz0A0oVv-79ODcXi14HDxgZATETxtsVSQSR1JiA/s2048/Billy+Mayfair+02.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRKBRNHswwA6PwcDR-EPTWTugNh4mFfBdFyfOOC5oh226vFhwZxDIJvnaE6K77ByEcbW5j85uaxatL3ywJc1j8l1YU13j2SADOlaktRVz0A0oVv-79ODcXi14HDxgZATETxtsVSQSR1JiA/w240-h320/Billy+Mayfair+02.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div></div>His two amateur victories include theU.S. Amateur(1987) and U.S. Public Links (1986). In the PGA Tour Champions, Mayfair ranks 49 in the Charles Schwab CupPoints, five in the PGA Tour Points List and 34 in the All-Time Money List with more than $22 million in career earnings.Mayfair has been in the Official World Golf Rankings top 50 list, reaching as high as 26. He was the medalist at the2010 PGATour’s Qualifying School and at the age of 15was on the cover of Boys’Life magazine as "golf’s junior hotshot."After dealing with Asperger-related symptoms for most of his life Mayfair was diagnosed in2019 with autism spectrum disorder, a developmental condition that causes challenges with a person’s communication, social interactions, sleep habits, moods and attention span, among other things. <div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHf_fo6t4H4mi2strFrhQOUsTcJvNPN6iwTWbMu6NQ88uBZkFXCDrog7vC8BwBS2yM0lg3AKaz5EanH_Iv0Jsubbp6yBUoVigKEzfl_uYVem3i9WitOTbG8HOK1NxWa4efltXgtf_PnHh/s2443/Billy+Mayfair+11.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2443" data-original-width="1745" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHf_fo6t4H4mi2strFrhQOUsTcJvNPN6iwTWbMu6NQ88uBZkFXCDrog7vC8BwBS2yM0lg3AKaz5EanH_Iv0Jsubbp6yBUoVigKEzfl_uYVem3i9WitOTbG8HOK1NxWa4efltXgtf_PnHh/s320/Billy+Mayfair+11.jpeg" width="229" /></a></div>Previously, during the 2006 season Mayfair was diagnosed with testicular cancer and underwent surgery, returning to the tour two weeks later.Along with his family, Mayfair began a nonprofit foundation tasked with providing support to both amateur and professional athletes and their families who struggle from spectrum-related disorders. Mayfair was born in Phoenix, AZ. He graduated from Arizona State University and was the college’s first four-year All-America golfer, eventually being inducted into their sports hall of fame in 1998.Mayfair was also inducted into the State of Arizona Sports Hall of Fame in 2010. He currently lives in Scottsdale, AZ with his wife Tami.<p></p><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Lrg8pNhPvb-ZyD6XYJGQeOSMGqlCiJzGyo4J2ouujAGwafvOFhIW4Df1cb_kf0sH06pVEg1yRgrt1vrl4aFVITArLObNgU-p8m2tPP1e0yckHptEFpzVJuzQ7cwnM2nEEb0p3Voajo5w/s2048/Mayfair-Langer+Credit+Bill+Greenblatt.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Lrg8pNhPvb-ZyD6XYJGQeOSMGqlCiJzGyo4J2ouujAGwafvOFhIW4Df1cb_kf0sH06pVEg1yRgrt1vrl4aFVITArLObNgU-p8m2tPP1e0yckHptEFpzVJuzQ7cwnM2nEEb0p3Voajo5w/s320/Mayfair-Langer+Credit+Bill+Greenblatt.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><a href="https://www.si.com/golf-archives/2021/04/21/billy-mayfair-autism-spectrum-disorder-diagnosis-pga-champions-tour" target="_blank">https://www.si.com/golf-archives/2021/04/21/billy-mayfair-autism-spectrum-disorder-diagnosis-pga-champions-tour</a><p></p></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://www.golfdigest.com/story/autism-billy-mayfair-" target="_blank">https://www.golfdigest.com/story/autism-billy-mayfair-</a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://www.nbc15.com/2021/06/11/golfer-with-autism-advocates-those-spectrum-pga-tour/" target="_blank">https://www.nbc15.com/2021/06/11/golfer-with-autism-advocates-those-spectrum-pga-tour/</a><br /></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-65741786455191000462021-09-14T17:27:00.000-07:002021-09-14T17:27:05.904-07:00Episode #61: MP - Challenging Behaviors Deconstructed<p> Episode #61: MP - Challenging Behaviors Deconstructed</p>In this podcast, I share with you what to do when your child has challenging behaviors so that everyone on your team is consistent, your child learns positive behaviors, and you have more peaceful days together.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEbZmulcoRCQO2-1xi2ejiUlKFxG0oqJhb5kAhiCtrGw7q86PeHwFR-BsYvZzHpYns1DGjyN2Ton4BwtRIvQDyfHqxlFyECsk0BMPTIVwn0FZ3POv0NlBPfgjUlh8kGR2zZKa47JzKlww0/s1080/podcast61.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEbZmulcoRCQO2-1xi2ejiUlKFxG0oqJhb5kAhiCtrGw7q86PeHwFR-BsYvZzHpYns1DGjyN2Ton4BwtRIvQDyfHqxlFyECsk0BMPTIVwn0FZ3POv0NlBPfgjUlh8kGR2zZKa47JzKlww0/s320/podcast61.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div>Hello Synergy Autism Podcast listeners. My. apologies for not posting a podcast in a couple-few weeks. My book came out, I have family in town, and I'm enjoying the last days of summer weather. A special thank you to my son who does the music for my podcast, by the way. </div><div><br /></div><div>I think you will find today's podcast helpful if it is new to you and as a refresher if it is not new. Today, I am going to talk to you about what to do when. your child has challenging behaviors. These might be meltdowns, shutdowns, refusals, dropping to the floor, hitting, kicking, biting, destroying property, or some combination of these.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've had a few children's parents already report these behaviors happening at school so I'll cover that too. School started for many, recently, here in the US.</div><div><br /></div><div>So here goes... first and foremost, <b>when a child has challenging behaviors, I need you to know that your child is challenged by something and is indicating distress.</b> Your job is to figure out the source of that distress so that you can accurately and adequately support your child to not feel so challenged.</div><div><br /></div><div>If your child is in school, ask the school team for what is called a Functional Behavior Assessment. If your child is homeschooled or in a private school, you can lead one with your team or ask someone you trust to lead one. This assessment is typically completed by a team and includes observations, interviews, and a record review to determine the function the behavior serves for your child. You will more than likely need to request his and often will also need to sign consent. Without it, behaviors are managed by the many people in your child's life who may be making assumptions about the reasons your child is struggling. Some may assume your child is simply being ornery, while others may overcompensate, coddle, and attempt to avoid behavior ever happening by under-challenging your child - potentially leading to a different set of behaviors out of boredom. By having your child's team, including you determine the reasons for the challenging behaviors, you and /or your team can then develop. what is called a positive behavior support plan for everyone to follow and ensure consistency. </div><div><br /></div><div>The facts of the matter are:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Behaviors will increase if everyone is handling them differently</li><li><b>Behaviors will often increase but then drop significantly if everyone is consistent.</b></li><li>And if you have the why or the reason for the behavior wrong, you may see the behavior reduce but another one pop up to replace the function of the 1st behavior.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>Now I want to help you feel less intimidated by this process. It really comes down to </div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Being very concrete about the behaviors you wish to decrease</li><li>Getting really good at observing your own child</li><li>Teaching replacement behaviors</li><li>Get everyone consistent</li></ol><div>So let's tackle each of those one at a time. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>1.<span> Be very concrete about the behaviors you wish to decrease. If your child is hhaving what you perceive as a tantru, thhat is not being concerete enough. List theh exact behaviors your child displays. What specific behaviors is your child doing that are getting int heh way. fro them and you? Common ones are:</span></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span>Saying "no" </span></li><li><span>Dropping to the floor</span></li><li><span>Hitting self or othhers</span></li><li>Kicking</li><li>Spitting</li><li>Yelling </li><li>Swearing</li><li>Grabbing</li><li>Pinching</li><li>Eloping</li><li>Feces smearing</li><li>Biting</li></ul><div>These are all concrete and observable. Write the ones your child exhibits down. Now, let's go to #2.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>2.<span> Get really good at observing your own child. I hear it all the time: "my child's behaviors come out of no where. They explode for seemingly no reason." I'm. not one to say "never" so I'll just say no one has convinced me yet that behaviors dimply come out of no where. A person may be on such hyper-alert or hiding their stress level that when they finally can't hide or mask anymore, they. explode but that is certainly not out of no where. Most often, if you can alleviate the stress the person/child is enduring, you can alleviate challenging behaviors. So getting really good at observing your child may be to observe the lead up to behaviors carefully... observe what they turn away from, refuse, or simply bristle at. Observe when they go silent if they are commonly making sounds or talking. Watch their eyes and what they are "keeping an eye on" in case it changes, or otherwise may. cause stress. Take some notes as when the build up happens, length of time before the worst of the challenging behaviors and what seem to alleviate your child's stress.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>3.<span> Teach replacement behaviors. This is the beginning of ensuring a positive behavior plan for everyone to follow. You have concretely identified the challenging behaviors, observed what seems to lead up to the behavior occurring, now you need to decide what you'd prefer for your child to do in that moment instead. So if your child hits every time they are not wanting something to happen, you may decide that saying "no" would be a nice replacement behavior. Or if they hit to get processing time, you may decide the replacement behavior is sitting quietly being allowed or given processing time versus being rushed by those who support them.</span></span></div><div><span><span><br /></span></span></div><div><span><span><i>I'll tell you a quick replacement behavior for feces smearing during diaper changes that worked really well. We decided this child was getting into his diaper for the sensory experience. so we literally replaced the substance from his choice of what was available: feces to our. giving. him a. jar of coconut oil - same consistency and who cares if it gets everywhere!? It worked like a charm - thank goodness.</i></span></span></div><div><span><span><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span><span>4.<span> Get everyone consistent. This requires that you have your plan in writing so everyone can ask questions, problem solve, make revisions necessary, and then get down to business. Write down how to reduce stress overall for your child. This may include ways you know your child learns best. Write down exactly how you'd like everyone to respond to y our child's escalation or lead up to the challenging behaviors. Write down what you want all to do in the middle of the tough behaviors (you may remember from other podcasts that this is usually just ensuring safety and going silent as NO teaching can happen in the middle of a behavior storm). </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span>And finally, the most important piece of all, spell out HOW you'd. like to teach replacement behaviors. This is the real work, the practice that happens NOT in the moments of stress but in day to day life... if you are wanting your child to say "no" versus hitting, for example, sprinkle in. practice all day for them to say "no" when the stakes aren't so high. If you want them to gain sensory input to regulate their body during learning moments, practice their getting their ya-yas out prior to daily activities like mealtimes, bath time, or reading together.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br />Now I hope that I have deconstructed what may have been scary - to address challenging behaviors. My hope for you is that you now understand and feel empowered. I'll be honest, I rarely get it exactly right and neither will you - so continue to assess the function or the why, remember that if you are challenged by a behavior, your child is experiencing a challenge that is distressing to them. You are there to help them learn and practice new ways to reduce said stress - not dole out consequences which many of us fall into and simply do not work long term.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span>I wish you all better days ahead full. of connection, understanding, and peace. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span>Till next time.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-54374475851165871442021-08-15T17:36:00.003-07:002021-08-15T17:36:53.700-07:00 Episode #60: MP - On the Wrong Side of the Law<p> Episode #60: MP - On the Wrong Side of the Law</p><p><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1106636194&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/on-the-wrong-side-of-the-lay" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #60: MP - On the wrong side of the law">Episode #60: MP - On the wrong side of the law</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrAU5LCYnYzPBGQNMqOhRef1AYx5hJmsMg-vIvcM1GgQGMXg5Vt4tU6HdnhLig-QlsMX6wWLJOnu3rHo2tUUHmBX7uRNy5I5xvPLAMM3sau0VgnZHFPcyNU_TPquE0mzBBI26RLBZ3tC9f/s1080/podcast60.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrAU5LCYnYzPBGQNMqOhRef1AYx5hJmsMg-vIvcM1GgQGMXg5Vt4tU6HdnhLig-QlsMX6wWLJOnu3rHo2tUUHmBX7uRNy5I5xvPLAMM3sau0VgnZHFPcyNU_TPquE0mzBBI26RLBZ3tC9f/s320/podcast60.png" width="320" /></a></div><p>I feel the need to do a podcast on a very important and tough topic today. I'm going to talk about autistic individuals committing crimes.</p><p>"WHAT!?" you may ask.. People with autism commit crimes?</p><p>Or, you may be terrified knowing your child, client, or yourself. could end up committing a crime.</p><p>There are some great websites, trainings, and supports available and I will be sure to share those. This podcast is not meant to replace those excellent resources. I am just an autism specialist who has sadly now seen the inside of jails, juvenile corrections facilities, courtrooms, and the Oregon State Hospital. </p><p>It seems there are a few things at play that are landing autistic people on the wrong side of the law. I have now been involve din two sexual assault cases, numerous aggravated assault cases, and two theft cases. </p><p>Families experiencing challenges with their children's behavior are simply not being properly supported. And once a child and family enter appropriate supports - things do seem to improve. However, most of the families I have encountered in the legal system had not accessed support and services. Why? Well, that remains an excellent questions. I think it varies.</p><p>Some families are actually quite engaged and become frustrated with the school systems attention to their child's experiences with bullying or lack of appropriate accommodations leading them to homeschool. Homeschooling can be amazing, please do not get me wrong, but a lack of experiences with the trial and error with peers can potentially lead to a vulnerability with peers as young adults. The autist may have the drive to have a sexual partner or simply a group of friends - without the common sense or necessary decision making practice - leaving them defiant AND vulnerable - a tough combination.</p><p>Even if a student has accessed school supports, they may not have been provided with the sex education necessary to ensure many of the basics while their hormones are very real - compelling them to go on the internet or in real situations with underage children. Had someone had a very clear, concrete and brutally honest conversation about who can have sexual relations under the law and the importance of consent, these situations may not have happened. </p><p>I am not blaming parents or professionals. We don't know what we don't know but we can do better. We can communicate the importance of using clear and concrete communication to explain things to teens who may not understand the subtle cues of peers egging them on or the dangers of even looking at children in a sexual manner. We can recognize and stop bullying by educating students and professionals of the long term effects of that kind of trauma. We can listen to parents early in development when their children struggle with regulation. Without proper training of that child's family and community, the child is deemed manipulative as they grow and become combative rather than supported to understand and advocate for their own unique processing and self regulation.</p><p>Dysregulated children do not always turn into dysregulated teens and adults but when they do, they often turn to peer groups who celebrate aggression or they learn to self medicate through drugs and/or alcohol use.</p><p>Prompt dependent children do not always remain prompt dependent but when they do, they may become susceptible to the prompts from peers just to fit in, have what they deem as friends but who actually get them into a lot of trouble. Again, the individuation of becoming adults is still there so the battle begins between parents, authority, and the young person. </p><p>The anecdote to all this surely seems simple. Teacher and parent education regarding autistic processing that includes how to guide a child to think for themselves rather than falling prey as prompt dependants. And to think for yourself, you must be regulated so depending on the child, you either need to support regulation 1st or step into providing active, engaged, and extensive opportunities for problem solving rather than compliance or skill training.</p><p>Contact me for more information or if you'd like for me to do a podcast on a topic near and dear to your heart or curiosity.</p><b>Some recommendations for further reading:</b><br /><br />Book: Caught in the Web of the Criminal Justice System by Lawrence A Dublin and Dr. Emily Horowitz<br /><br /> <a href="https://www.jkp.com/uk/caught-in-the-web-of-the-criminal-justice-system-1.html">https://www.jkp.com/uk/caught-in-the-web-of-the-criminal-justice-system-1.html</a><br /><br /><br />Article: And Justice For All (Unless You Have Autism) by Barbara Doyle, M.S.<br /><br /><a href="https://www.barbaradoyle.com/">https://www.barbaradoyle.com</a><br /><br /><br />Website: Autism Speaks/Judicial Systems<br /><br /><a href="https://www.autismspeaks.org/judicial-system">https://www.autismspeaks.org/judicial-system</a><br /><br /><br />Website Article: Asperger/Autism Network<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://www.aane.org/asperger-syndrome-criminal-justice-system/">https://www.aane.org/asperger-syndrome-criminal-justice-system/</a>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-12497385600011241972021-08-07T18:08:00.001-07:002023-11-06T06:48:25.166-08:00Episode #59: MP - Perception Chaos<p> Episode #59: MP - Perception Chaos</p><p><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1102154650&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-59-mp-perception-chaos" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #59: MP - Perception Chaos">Episode #59: MP - Perception Chaos</a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrCgotrXFlJAeAuvc4AcZvpBKG8qZ-rOmCM1g-um0LuT7P0x31wHHUCb15FNdn0M_64zYKn9SsKG83iN8tCIHDkq7Vo4qHwPoTyEsdhDHM_UygrdN2eyW1ucGZvMPTS5IZihlQcZl9gacT/s1080/podcast59.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrCgotrXFlJAeAuvc4AcZvpBKG8qZ-rOmCM1g-um0LuT7P0x31wHHUCb15FNdn0M_64zYKn9SsKG83iN8tCIHDkq7Vo4qHwPoTyEsdhDHM_UygrdN2eyW1ucGZvMPTS5IZihlQcZl9gacT/s320/podcast59.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Hello Synergy Autism Podcast Listeners. My name is Barb Avila and this is one of my mini-podcasts for you for 2021. <p></p><p>Today, I want to share a bit about what I have learned happens for many autistic individuals and some ideas for alleviating it. This is the experience of what I am calling "perception - chaos." </p><p>You've heard me share and discuss that autistic people often feel flooded and are riding high or are hyper-vigilant much of the time. This is along those lines. Imagine for a moment (or if you are autistic, this may describe your experience) that you are sitting in a crowded room with little to no ability to distinguish between or prioritize sensations coming from both outside and inside your body. You are experiencing a rumbling stomach perhaps while someone is talking next to you. Your emotions are all over the place from sad to hopeful to nervous or anxious. The lights above you are buzzing and the sunlight is coming through the window at an angle that makes light bounce off the blinds. The mosquito bite on your arm and all of the birthdays and musical notes are dancing in your head. Hm.... this is again what I call "perception chaos." All of your perceptions - your senses - are alert, active yet with little to no filter. It seems you can either:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Attempt to attend to everything and make it through a given day or time period masking your chaotic experience</li><li>Shut everything and everyone out - losing yourself into a quieter more manageable situation like your home environment much of the time.</li><li>Hyper-focus on one thing so strongly that you shut everything else out to simply survive or you have learned this is the only way to take action.</li><li>Get angry and lash out when people talk or move you because you are simply trying to keep homeostasis.</li></ul><div>I have found 3 things that really help when someone is experiencing this perceptual chaos:</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Allow their attention to shift to you before talking - helping them organize the chaos versus simply adding to it. This is what I call C2U or Curiosity to you. By sitting or standing close and allowing them to notice your presence, shift their attention, and realize you wish to say something, may be harder than you think. Give them time to process and make that shift.</li><li>Organize the environment. Clutter just adds to that chaos. Partner with the person to determine a visually organized system that works for them. DO NOT assume your way of organizing will work for them. However, if you are unsure or are supporting someone who may struggle with communication, please consider looking into some <a href="https://teacch.com/" target="_blank">Structured TEACCH</a> organizational tips like having labels or numbers on drawers or folders to help someone organize their space or tasks. including daily living tasks.</li><li>Have a visual conversation with them. You do not have to know what the person needs to start, in fact if you really think about it, that would be a lecture not a conversation. Remember a conversation is 2 way. When you start, set your sights on using a notebook or computer to collect the person's thoughts that might be adding to their perceptual chaos which they may be struggling to understand or convey.</li></ol><div>I was recently contacted by a longtime fabulous client family to step in with an argument they were having. Their young adult was demanding to take a friend's entire family including their extended family to Disneyland and have his parents pay for the whole trip. The more they tried to explain the expense, the more upset and demanding he became. His demands were escalating and they were concerned they were headed for a weekend of aggressive and destructive behaviors. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>I agreed to meet with the young man online. I simply shared my screen and wrote "You want to take your friends to Disneyland." then I wrote something like "Disneyland is your favorite place in the whole world." - He had wanted to show these people how much he cares about them by sharing what he loves the most in the world. I should add that these friends had lost a family member recently and were grieving.</div><div><br /></div><div>Without negating his plan, I took us on the shared screen adventures of the internet. We went to the Disneyland website while keeping a tally of the costs of tickets, hotel rooms, and airfare. I just helped him organize his awesome caring desire to take all these people he was worried bout to his favorite place. With a smile on his face, he said "and that doesn't even include food." He made his own calm and collected realization that it was much too much money to be able to give as a gift. </div><div><br /></div><div>But we did not stop there. Had we stopped, he would have been left with the unresolved emotions of wanting to do something for them.... adding frustration to the perceptual chaos or at least not alleviating it. So <a href="https://synergyautismcenter.com/the-sun-diagram/" target="_blank">we ventured into using my sun diagram</a> for offering and exploring cost saving ideas for letting friends know you care and how good it would feel for him to be one to purchase the Disney DVD out of his own money to give to the family with a note from hi m personally.</div><div><br /></div><div>Simply by validating, exploring, and helping organize his awesome intentions - he could move from chaos to clarity. He could act on his kind heart with confidence and personal agency.</div><div><br /></div><div>So next time someone you know is either shutting down or creating chaos as if to become one with it... </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Slow down</li><li>Allow attention to shift</li><li>Organize the environment</li><li>Visually converse via a notebook to guide organizing thoughts, emotions and experiences.</li></ul><div>You might be pleasantly surprised by the results - the person may just show you their caring heart that just needs support to calm the chaos.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for listening. Till next time.</div><div><br /></div><p></p><p><br /></p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-6328000090336127862021-08-01T11:23:00.001-07:002021-08-01T11:24:56.324-07:00 Episode # 58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites<p> <span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Episode # 58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-0d869cd2-7fff-3176-4169-888a845b0e1f"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><br /><iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1098230107&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" title="Synergy Autism Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-58-mp-the-trouble-with" title="Episode #58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Episode #58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites</a></div><hr /><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOEBi6OUwOW2SXAgkCV4Nw1IePQckjyrH4SJ00Eeqida2exHAK9PLfPKbsl9ZqHUaevXqsiDgkO9TvvLYZAZhgYCDN2umyAuhyeKLw2w3DGqWX0a_1iX3tfgGBZZIAeHgIFU2Nhsyhy2Hk/s1080/podcast58.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOEBi6OUwOW2SXAgkCV4Nw1IePQckjyrH4SJ00Eeqida2exHAK9PLfPKbsl9ZqHUaevXqsiDgkO9TvvLYZAZhgYCDN2umyAuhyeKLw2w3DGqWX0a_1iX3tfgGBZZIAeHgIFU2Nhsyhy2Hk/s320/podcast58.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Hello and welcome to another episode of the Synergy Autism Podcast. I am Barbara Avila and this is one of my 2021</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">mini</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">podcasts which I produce almost every weekend based on some of the conversations I have in my work with individuals, families, and professionals.</span><p></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do want to mention, of course, that my book is out! You can find it anywhere you purchase your books. It only currently out in paperback but soon to be out as an ebook. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, I thought I’d return to a common dilemma faced by parents and professionals supporting autistic individuals and that is the concept of favorites. Most of us neuro-typicals have lots of favorites like favorite colors and favorite foods. But many autistic individuals struggle with the concept of favorites and may be unable to answer the question “which one is your favorite?” when presented with 2 or 3 nice and positive choices. Why!? What is going on?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, if you think about it, if someone tends to think in more black and white terms or more concrete- right or wrong terms, when they are asked or their favorite, they might think there is a “right answer,” rather than simply a preference. So if you ask them which is their favorite: chicken nuggets or french fries, they may not see the meaning of making one preferable over the other: they are both good. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Degrees of priority of favorites seems more challenging for many on the spectrum. They simply do not see the point. And at the same time, we as guides for children may also shy away from using emotional words when someone is a more concrete thinker. Afterall, emotions are a very grey area concept - they vary in degree and they come and go without a visual representation unless it is extreme.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So back to favorites, you may be thinking - hey, my child insists on using only the red cup or insists on only eating certain foods - isn’t that choosing favorites? Well, sort of. Let’s imagine the mind of an autistic child, teen or adult. As mentioned, they may be of the mindset that there are right and wrong answer to most questions. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The world is not as dynamic and so prioritizing is extremely difficult. So they might have had a red cup once and that was then the “correct” cup vs all of the other cup options. The concept of degrees of correctness is not the same for those who process in more dynamic terms. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some of you may have heard of PECS. This stands for Picture Exchange Communication System. This system utilizes and supports a person to learn how to use pictures to communicate their choices. The first level of a person learning the system is to offer a choice of two objects and the pictures that are associated with them. When the individual reaches for the object, they are supported to take the picture and hand it to the receiving person to then access that object. Commonly people start using this system during snack time at school when a student might be highly motivated to eat, for example. However, it is frustrating to me that people seem to skip over the very first step as outlined by the creators of this system: and that is to help someone understand the concept of preference. According to the creators (at least several years ago when I used PECS in my classroom), you were to offer two objects and the corresponding pictures but one of the options or objects should be something very neutral compared to the other object. So one might offer a tissue with a picture of a tissue and a handful of goldfish with a photo of goldfish. If the child then reaches for the tissue, they are given the tissue. They learn quickly that it is important and makes sense to choose one over the other. If you offer goldfish and cheese crackers with their corresponding photos, you will never know whether they are really making a preferential choice.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So anywho. I thought some of you might enjoy this food for thought on why autistic individuals may have trouble choosing one thing over another - remember it is a grey area or a matter of degree that is more challenging as a concept for them. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now some of you may also be wondering, okay, now what do we do with that? Do we just give up and not support someone in learning to make a choice between two or more options? No, of course not. What I suggest is (and you have probably heard me say this a gazillion times but you are going to hear it again…) make it visual. I am a huge fan of people having what I call visual conversations with one another. It may feel awkward at first but allow it to simply supplement your words as you are talking or offering choices. In this case, consider creating a Likert scale - that’s the one where you have to rate something on a scale - for example 1 being never or awful and 10 being always or awesome. So consider using a Likert scale and visually representing what you perceive might be things on the extremes…. So for me, I would put strawberries on the very low end of that scale because, yes, I really don’t like strawberries, and I would probably put chocolate on the high end…. With some of the other common foods in the middle. I might share my preferences first and then help the individual with theirs. It may take time but often just putting it into more concrete and visual terms can significantly help an autistic person grasp the concept quickly.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So there you have it. The trouble with favorites.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t forget, my book Seeing Autism is available now on Amazon or where you find your books. I am a fan of ordering from local bookstores, personally. And if you’d like a signed copy, I am happy to send one to you personally. Email me at </span><a href="mailto:barbara@synergyautismcenter.com" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">barbara@synergyautismcenter.com</span></a><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and be ready to pay for the book and shipping to wherever you might be. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you for listening. I really appreciate you. Till next time - </span></p><div><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-42443728621936081192021-07-25T19:59:00.002-07:002021-07-25T20:01:04.833-07:00Episode #57: Interview with Yasmine White, CEO & Founder of Voices TogetherEpisode #57: Interview with Yasmine White, CEO & Founder of Voices Together<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1094088202&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-57-interview-with" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #57: Interview with Yasmine White, CEO & Founder of Voices Together">Episode #57: Interview with Yasmine White, CEO & Founder of Voices Together</a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYVqGV_lJeAkzWa21fH96RTpvx1sX_ns23dyoTeR7mzmxWwHPVORY1WO7Do0aaSj29jzOIVCsmIvYD2h9-DMLZBd6b1b5t8lEukyQE8mNqbV8JcZiuequ7dB4IomKXCTuURL1bqNZwpKbS/s1080/podcast56+%25282%2529.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYVqGV_lJeAkzWa21fH96RTpvx1sX_ns23dyoTeR7mzmxWwHPVORY1WO7Do0aaSj29jzOIVCsmIvYD2h9-DMLZBd6b1b5t8lEukyQE8mNqbV8JcZiuequ7dB4IomKXCTuURL1bqNZwpKbS/s320/podcast56+%25282%2529.png" /></a></div>I had a very special guest join us, her name is Yasmine White and she is the founder and CEO of Voices Together which is the largest music therapy organization in North Carolina.<br /><br />I was lucky enough to be introduced to Yasmine by my good friend and colleague, Jonathan Chase who some of you may be familiar with from previous podcasts.<br /><br />Yasmine and I had a lovely conversation where she described music therapy and her curriculum specifically. She inspires the audience to understand that music lives within all <span style="text-align: center;">of us and calls parents to share music with children of all ages and abilities.</span><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Here are two articles that Yasmine mentioned in this podcast and that she has shared with our listeners:<br /><br /><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BpLKfmZL52I8FO69rL3VEhDJ3iMdQBVm/view?usp=sharing">https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BpLKfmZL52I8FO69rL3VEhDJ3iMdQBVm/view?usp=sharing</a><br /><br /><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XY07BXIeI5AN5Xvim4GkkS803lkvTAZ2/view?usp=sharing">https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XY07BXIeI5AN5Xvim4GkkS803lkvTAZ2/view?usp=sharing</a><br /><br />-- <br /><b>Yasmine's contact detail and links:</b><div><br />Yasmine White, MT-BC<br /><br />Voices Together<br /><br />CEO & Founder<br /><br />919-942-2714<br /><br /><a href="http://www.voicestogether.org/">www.voicestogether.org</a><br /><br />Follow us: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/voicestogethermusictherapy">https://www.facebook.com/voicestogethermusictherapy</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.voicestogether.org/">www.voicestogether.org</a><br /><br /><span style="color: #800180;">The title of Yasmine’s book: Autism and The Power of Music; A New Approach to Help Your Child Help Themselves. Due out November 2021.</span><br /><br />“The world needs different kinds of minds to work together." -Dr. Temple Grandin<br /></div></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-79607967150046580792021-07-18T20:27:00.002-07:002021-07-18T20:28:33.369-07:00Episode #56: MP - Paralyzed by The Ripple Effect<p>Episode #56: MP - Paralyzed by The Ripple Effect</p><p><br /></p><p><iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1090002787&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" title="Synergy Autism Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-56-mp-ripple-effect" title="Episode #56: MP - Ripple Effect" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Episode #56: MP - Ripple Effect</a></div></p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipAoPK6f0TKgyZAzTouRjsfRrP4w0ZbW1uoK6-vEmA3BbdSg6W8Aq84h7_rqCnbldlAKJR6LPsgKBStJVgrTPA0lGnW57tjUxDLJyA2GxHNMDM9UnnDn39Xw_b5vSf6t5SfpKAFapVdS-n/s1080/podcast56.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipAoPK6f0TKgyZAzTouRjsfRrP4w0ZbW1uoK6-vEmA3BbdSg6W8Aq84h7_rqCnbldlAKJR6LPsgKBStJVgrTPA0lGnW57tjUxDLJyA2GxHNMDM9UnnDn39Xw_b5vSf6t5SfpKAFapVdS-n/s320/podcast56.png" /></a></div><br />I have such a deep respect for so many of my adult clients and how they think about things. Over the last couple of weeks, I have spoken to at least 3 different adults about this one concept that just blows my mind.<p></p><p>Let me try to explain.</p><p>As humans, each of us has a different level of awareness of our personal impact on the world. You might have seen sweet memes about how sharing your smile can impact others - as you never know who needs it. Or you might be concerned about using plastic straws due to the photos of affected turtles in the vast ocean.</p><p>But for some autistic people, this very concept of realizing one's impact - that their actions have ripple effects into the world can actually be paralyzing. What we may observe as inaction (and term incorrectly laziness), we tend to interpret as selfish but it may. actually be paralysis due to extreme selfLESSness.</p><p>Let me go a little deeper. One client has very matter of factly stated how much he hates money - so much so that he states he doesn't even find it important. When I dove deeper, he shared that it has been a long standing position based on the fact that spending any amount of money has an impact through consumerism... as if he is voting with his money to support child labor or war in other countries.</p><p>Another client shared recently that his experience is similar but more focused on his environmental impact, even considering suicide to delete his personal footprint on this earth. He is so deeply concerned for the pain and suffering for humanity as a whole - he is concerned that we are doing so much damange to our earth now that not only will our species die out, we are probably ruining it for the next round of life as well.</p><p>On a regular basis, I am awed by. what. we. need to learn from autistic individuals. We would all be so much better off if we were all even just a little more concerned for our future of our planet and recognizing the ripple effect of our personal actions.</p><p>My book is out! Check it out wherever you buy your books but <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0578884917/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">here is the link to buy it on Amazon</a> (oh, the irony).</p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-65426222049459340722021-07-04T18:28:00.001-07:002021-07-04T18:33:58.796-07:00Episode #55: MP - Get rid of "wait and see"<p><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Get Rid of “Wait & See”</span></div><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-55f336d7-7fff-a148-8520-1e60367597e8"><hr /><p></p><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1081530358&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-55-mp-get-rid-of-wait" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #55: MP - Get Rid of Wait and Ssee">Episode #55: MP - Get Rid of Wait and Ssee</a></div><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQ4cX6stHvN1Vww36t5-fLRcuTN96Af-wbwSOe7PQhRe80HrkgNkcAfd2ZLqO8T0iaqVREJlwxXzmdIb0ctniRXS2EZmB-12dPVp5iUIETsZyADisCSdjC3so8QDx8spVz81JZJo_KwyZ/s1080/podcast55.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQ4cX6stHvN1Vww36t5-fLRcuTN96Af-wbwSOe7PQhRe80HrkgNkcAfd2ZLqO8T0iaqVREJlwxXzmdIb0ctniRXS2EZmB-12dPVp5iUIETsZyADisCSdjC3so8QDx8spVz81JZJo_KwyZ/s320/podcast55.png" /></a></div>I used to think the “wait and see” approach only affected little ones before the age of 2 or 3. Parents bringing their children in with concerns about social engagement and medical professionals stating that the child is still within normal limits so let’s “wait & see.” The hope being that the child would outgrow the lack of engagement, not yet saying words, or having what seemed like extreme reactions to sensory information. </span><p></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did think it was tragic that children were then hitting preschools and kindergarten with pretty significant delays and undue stress that may have been alleviated by being served earlier with appropriate interventions. However, the longer I have now been in the field., the more I see the long term effects of the “wait and see” approach. The hesitancy to diagnose autism affects teens and adults later and we really need to be attending to those downstream issues we are causing. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I currently have two young adults and one teen whose parents engaged teachers, counselors and medical personnel at different points along their child’s development. Reviewing their records, you can see the trail of comments from very savvy and caring professionals documenting sensory sensitivities, anxiety and social challenges but NOT mentioning autism. These young people were and are so good at complying, making eye contact and just making it in conversation (AKA masking by the way) that autism is dismissed rather than mentioned. The result is that they either manage to graduate high school or drop out due to severe sensory overload, bullying or not finding it meaningful. They then do not have the flexibility , decision making skills, or social confidence to work or go to college or live on their own. We are doing a huge disservice to so many children and families with this wait and see approach. I think we need to figure out at least mentioning autism earlier as a possibility - as a preliminary diagnosis or simply a referral to appropriate resources for the parents. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I imagine a world where the word “autism” is not such a scary word. We currently end up avoiding it as professionals. I believe we can get to a place where we can recognize it as a neurodiversity with a potential for serious sensory and social challenges. We can then address it accordingly - not as a disease to be cured but as a difference in processing needing sensory and social guidance and support. Children who are showing early signs of delays in social engagement can and should receive family education and support. In my experience, most parents want more information and stand ready to alleviate sensory overload. With information they can increase manageable social practice regardless of age.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have now met too many adolescents in the juvenile corrections system and adults in the adult corrections system who could have had appropriate guidance early and have reduced their feeling ostracized, bullied, and needing to turn to drugs, alcohol, or joining the wrong crowds either by choice or by association - those who do not understand them assume they are manipulative versus experiencing sensory stress behavior and they are placed in education and treatment facilities that are not well suited to them. Trauma informed care may very well be an excellent direction for some autistic individuals but coupled with visual and concrete modifications. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If someone feels that their child may have symptoms of autism at any age - do not wait for diagnosis for that is just a label. Take the reins and give support and practice consistent with and common for autism interventions. You cannot hurt your child by providing sensory support and social practice. Good autism interventions are actually good for all children. It will help regardless of diagnosis. And if you are a professional in the field… Share your concerns early not to label but to help loved ones learn, understand and support as soon as parents are asking and when you notice concerns or differences.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Please note, as many of you may already know but I need to state - I am not talking about getting a child in ABA early. I am actually not a fan of what a strictly behavioral lens can do to a person and it frankly does not make a lot of sense to me with the core issues being social engagement related. I’m talking about decreasing the sensory overload a child is experiencing as well as giving practice in early fundamental and foundational social engagement. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For more information, my book just might be the help you are looking for. My book is titled “Seeing Autism - Connection through Understanding” and is due out July 15, 2021.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Till next time….</span></p><div><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-14194575797873890172021-06-27T14:09:00.003-07:002021-07-04T17:54:58.739-07:00Episode #54: MP - Who's Running The Show?Episode #54: MP - Who's Running The Show?<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1077123094&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-54-mp-whos-running-the" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #54: MP - Who's Running The Show?">Episode #54: MP - Who's Running The Show?</a></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ycBQxONQyg4exikB3OduQQVa0nuzg9BEsF2cxHlg6XPeR0J-r5HxC5IUsluIXChUI_tRsO4CaIR2B0S5ngP3nlcSIehiANj2Ox4SQgG4d9lWmMLAMTbfthD5j5NmZKbIhctheHGnoF-M/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ycBQxONQyg4exikB3OduQQVa0nuzg9BEsF2cxHlg6XPeR0J-r5HxC5IUsluIXChUI_tRsO4CaIR2B0S5ngP3nlcSIehiANj2Ox4SQgG4d9lWmMLAMTbfthD5j5NmZKbIhctheHGnoF-M/" width="240" /></a></div>Hello and welcome to another episode of my Synergy Autism Podcast. I am a family and individual autism coach and consultant. I feel incredibly lucky to have listeners now from all over the world who subscribe to this low tech series. Each week I share thoughts and ideas from my work with the autistic community in the hopes that you may benefit from the information with someone you know and love with autism.<br /><br />Today, I’d like to talk about balancing who is running the show. I have many client children of all ages who will either lead or follow but the in between is challenging. Sharing the lead or switching it up is essential for full well rounded development and well being. <br /><br />Say you have a 5 year old who won’t allow you to join them in play or allow you to introduce new additions or silliness to their play or engagements. You may kindly offer “ do you want to do this?” but the answer is almost always “no” or even a meltdown. Or you may have a teen who is not particularly verbal who is overly compliant to the point of doing almost anything you tell them to but almost nothing without being prompted. Or your adult child who will allow you to make all home decisions and only participate via refusal or compliance. They will help out with chores but only when specifically asked to do so.<br /><br />Last week, I accompanied a lovely family to a park where I witnessed their young boy leading his parent around the park going from one thing to another then running towards the water with a fearful parent following behind. They boy did not respond to “stop” or “stay with me.” I was quite nervous for this boy’s safety, so of course, I wanted to help. On the surface he needs to learn to respond to “stop” and stay with his trusted caregivers. But this is a symptom of something more fundamental in my opinion. He does not see adults as sources of intrigue worthy of his curiosity and trust. Now hear me out. I know this boy loves and trusts that his parent will keep him safe and loves him. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about his curiosity and trust of adult’s ADDITIONS to his learning and exploring. He is currently in the lead of his own learning and exploration which is sometimes phenomenal when and if it is in balance with following a guide’s lead as well. If he only learns through his own exploration, he will limit his own learning by stopping when things get seemingly too challenging or simply not of interest.<br /><br />We need children to also feel a trust in us, as guides, that we will challenge them in new ways that will help them grow in directions they hadn’t initially thought of on their own. We need children to be curious and excited to learn from teachers, parents, siblings and community members so that they can spread their wings and explore beyond their known and predictable confines of their own learning.<br /><br />How this can happen is through practicing balance.<br /><br />Giving someone practice with balancing control of who is leading the show can and should absolutely involve free exploration where a child is in full control of their own learning and inspection. However, a child also needs practice in situations where you are the center of attention adding challenges in manageable ways. You get to take the spotlight over those toys or objects. You are the exciting and intriguing aspect of the play and engagement. Okay. I know. Easier said than done. <br /><br />You may have heard me explain that autism can cause a person to be hesitant, anxious or downright fearful of change and uncertainty. So when I now ask you to BE the source of challenges - I am sure you think I may have lost it. Well,n o, I do want you to be SOURCE of change and uncertainty. But hear me out. I want you to be the source of change and uncertainty that is INTRIGUING rather than overwhelming. THEN and only then will your child follow your lead because they trust that you will not place them in an overwhelming situation beyond their capability and/or their sensory system can handle.<br /><br />You will need to engage in two types of practice: (1) start slow and steady for the everyday practice and (2) be VERY predictable and consistent for any safety practice. <br /><br />In everyday routines together, including play and leisure time, insert yourself into your child’s activities in tiny ways to start. And I mean TINY. Sit next to them. Make sound effects, bring out your mildly silly side for just a moment or two then leave and go about your business. Leave them wanting more. This is one of my mottos: leave them wanting more. Don’t keep going so long that you annoy or overwhelm the person. <br /><br />In play, add little additions to HOW you play with the same materials. Make them fly, bounce, hide and fall. Highlight YOU and YOUR additions to the play - not just the toys or materials. <br /><br />Now, for safety situations, I put these in a little bit of a different category due to their urgency. This is not going to be a time that you are giving practice with unpredictability and uncertainty. This is time for you to play into their default processing so that you can ensure compliance quickly and efficiently. Write down your plan for keeping them safe and get very predictable with your practice. You will make sense the more concrete, predictable, and no-frills you go. Share the plan with at least 1-2 other adults to practice also with the person. I am including my “stay with me” protocol in the show notes for keeping those runners in your life safe. Please read, share, and practice accordingly. <br /><br />If you need to create your own safety plan, get really clear with your target and consider eliciting the help of professionals in your child’s life if you feel stuck. Get ONE protocol going between you and please revise as often as necessary for clarity and understanding. If it is for your child to learn the world “danger” so to not touch the hot stove or “stay with me” so they won’t run into the street, commit and practice It will b e the way forward.<br /><br />Good luck. Find balance. And allow yourself to be intriguing. Don’t let that autistic someone in your life completely run their own show of learning. Learn to share your wisdom and silliness with them in ways that not only make sense but are manageable enough to spark curiosity.<br /><br />Take care until next time….<div>-----------------------------------------<br /><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>STAY WITH ME PROTOCOL:</b></div><div><br /></div><div><span id="docs-internal-guid-2aaf4910-7fff-dc55-4be9-6038381d3264"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">KEY GUIDING PRINCIPLES: </span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">STAY IN THE LEAD. </span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">DO NOT PLAY CHASE. </span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">STOP THE ACTION WHEN NECESSARY.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">STATE “STAY WITH ME”</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">STATE WHERE YOU ARE GOING, USING JUST ONE WORD</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;"></p><hr /><p></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Goal:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> For the child to stay with their guide (i.e., grandparent, mother, support worker, friend, professional) when walking outside where there are the dangers of vehicles, water, strangers, etc.</span></p><ol style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Prior to allowing them out of the car or out of your embrace, allow their attention to shift to you and state “stay with me,” clearly and simply. Add a single word for where you are going (i.e., “car” or “playground”).</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If they start to pull away or run off - get to safety and stop the action. Stop where you are, reposition yourself to ensure their safety from running away, allow their attention to shift and state “stay with me,” clearly and simply - repeat where you are going using a single word.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAsizRYVilOkvTkbRu-uqWiBl-jMyi88xiY29slhaOWsJe0nprv6nxaIJ4pHvwv0XzWvyjIlyNnqFWmF0Z7RKZ-BQg0Dwaec2HsG-R5AIAzsUsMK6j7cxlIZOZBhlkaU00M_VqCNNn7kE/s640/Screen+Shot+2021-07-04+at+5.54.11+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="458" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAsizRYVilOkvTkbRu-uqWiBl-jMyi88xiY29slhaOWsJe0nprv6nxaIJ4pHvwv0XzWvyjIlyNnqFWmF0Z7RKZ-BQg0Dwaec2HsG-R5AIAzsUsMK6j7cxlIZOZBhlkaU00M_VqCNNn7kE/s320/Screen+Shot+2021-07-04+at+5.54.11+PM.png" /></a></div><p></p></li></ol><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If they are repeatedly pulling away or making it feel unsafe to only hold hands (for fear of pulling their arm, for example) place one hand under their armpit and another holding their hand. </span></p><br /><ol start="3" style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Practice this at least 2 times daily - in your home first then your neighborhood or park.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It will help to tell them where you are going versus just to wander with you. </span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do not play chase. As fun as it is/seems, it is reinforcing their thinking it is funny or amusing to run away from safety.</span></p></li></ol><br /><br /></span><br /></div></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-7823749527195332642021-06-20T15:04:00.002-07:002021-06-27T14:11:34.317-07:00Episode #53: MP - Grateful for Fathers<p> Episode #53: MP - Grateful for Fathers</p><p><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1072520341&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-53-grateful-for" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #53: Grateful for fathers">Episode #53: Grateful for fathers</a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVMCIkNsrwCfQRdQyBYjuGdsrin9v4Kz4f0zZ8krHzqvojp9xe0B8kNsTf-AQvLJ1JsSRys8x6zy1SUj8wDI0HVMwEp0yH0tyZ99ADW-iN6Dg77dORUJo7Knu-3gMuNSqT3Z7Sq0MEWSr/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVMCIkNsrwCfQRdQyBYjuGdsrin9v4Kz4f0zZ8krHzqvojp9xe0B8kNsTf-AQvLJ1JsSRys8x6zy1SUj8wDI0HVMwEp0yH0tyZ99ADW-iN6Dg77dORUJo7Knu-3gMuNSqT3Z7Sq0MEWSr/" width="240" /></a></div>Today happens to be Father's Day as I record this episode so I thought I would spend a little time celebrating the dad's out there listening or the dad's you know and love. <p></p><p>I feel so lucky to work with fathers more than I ever could as a teacher. Dads bring so much to families and they don't always get the credit that they deserve. </p><p>Fathers are most often the ones who are looking long term into the future for their child and family. They are often considering finances combined with self-sufficiency. These longer term goals or visions can be incredibly helpful for determining what needs to be targeted today to get to those long term dreams. allowing fathers into the conversation about individual education planning (or IEPs) can help the full team consider life beyond the classroom into adulthood. </p><p>Fathers are also conversely often amazing at being in the moment with their kids. Stereotypically, it is he mother who keeps the to-do list going in her head and is multi-tasking at incredible levels. Fathers on the other hand can so often be playful, silly, and engaged without being distracted by the laundry or dinner needing attention. That playfulness is imperative for children to learn how to engage with their peers, for example, who are less predictable while being silly. </p><p>Once when I was recommending playful obstructions to a father in his partnering and play with this son, he labeled them "plot twists" which I still use today and you'll read in my book. I loved that he completely understood that giving his son moments to practice surprise twists and turns within interactions would help him roll with them when he was in middle school with peers. </p><p>Sometimes it is fathers who think of play as just that: play... rather than the essential platform of learning that it truly is. We now know through child development research that children who are encouraged to play and explore - making decisions for themselves and their partners, fair much better long term in being able to make decisions in life. </p><p><b>Being immersed in the messiness of play prepares us for the messiness of life. </b></p><p>So Dads, keep playing. Continue challenging your children to think, engage, and learn within those projects you have going and the silliness you bring. We need you, Dads. </p><p>Happy Father's Day.<br /></p><p>Till next time.....</p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-22537908386439345792021-06-13T16:26:00.003-07:002021-06-13T16:26:20.054-07:00Episode #52: MP - Personal Agency from Seeing Autism due out Summer 22Episode #52: MP - Personal Agency from Seeing Autism due out Summer 2021<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1067812357&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/excerpt-3-personal-agency" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #52: MP - Personal Agency from Seeing Autism Due Out Summer 2021">Episode #52: MP - Personal Agency from Seeing Autism Due Out Summer 2021</a></div><br /><br />"The drive for control is especially apparent in the teen years, but many of us also know the adage of the “terrible twos.” Fostering that drive for control is essential for natural learning. You can foster control while still guiding for balance by providing choices when and where appropriate.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWVubnhldCdTmFukLzzzt-5kXvdpRmVhxOvRF543eTG93DFIkHF3qr6SOgdgVNGJcl7TxvxkgDYGeRONnkxBiTLJ04-s2t_mFeRnBpQYjcLku1G4iYzrYsWkoMx1_335Sq9c9JXharxtO/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWVubnhldCdTmFukLzzzt-5kXvdpRmVhxOvRF543eTG93DFIkHF3qr6SOgdgVNGJcl7TxvxkgDYGeRONnkxBiTLJ04-s2t_mFeRnBpQYjcLku1G4iYzrYsWkoMx1_335Sq9c9JXharxtO/" width="240" /></a></div><br />Providing choices allows personal agency, while avoiding choices is a recipe for disaster for all humans, autistics included. And while many children who are neurotypical may demand their own control, individuals with autism may need you to offer it to them. Here are some ways you can provide choices to someone with autism:<br /><br />Give choices within nonchoices: allow control within situations where aspects may not be within their control. You could say, “We are going to the car. Do you want to bring the baseball or your book with you?”<br /><br />When transitioning, allow time for the person to finish what they are doing before shifting to your agenda. For example, if someone is focused on an episode of anime, allow them time to pause it themselves or finish the episode before demanding transition.<br /><br />If they need or want to move or “stim” while learning or engaging, allow them to do so. Only provide or teach alternatives when the movements get in the way of learning for that person or if their behaviors are unsafe.<br /><p></p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-38354655967146155872021-06-07T10:56:00.007-07:002021-06-12T15:28:43.971-07:00Episode #51: MP - Sensory Flooding from Seeing Autism due out Summer 2021Episode #51: MP - Sensory Flooding from Seeing Autism due out Summer 2021<br /><br /> <iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1063793659&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast"></a></div> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/excerpt-2-sensory-flooding" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #52: MP - Sensory Flooding from Seeing Autism Book due out 2021">Episode #52: MP - Sensory Flooding from Seeing Autism Book due out 2021</a><br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzddlIoJ9h9Zh6Tw-rSka7464yBJLchMGigdTJs-BwL40hHu6vmqBNevZauEJWjZi2UQiiX6y2HJF9N1XNExhEon4w4nuZZ-S9xacQVRZxy9ku7PkeuV25RiqZ85_I0jUYrnkGgsVdimYx/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzddlIoJ9h9Zh6Tw-rSka7464yBJLchMGigdTJs-BwL40hHu6vmqBNevZauEJWjZi2UQiiX6y2HJF9N1XNExhEon4w4nuZZ-S9xacQVRZxy9ku7PkeuV25RiqZ85_I0jUYrnkGgsVdimYx/" width="240" /></a></div>Hello Synergy Autism Podcast listeners! I am so happy you are here. I have gotten some really good feedback on my podcasts, people are seeming to like the short and sweet nature of these mini-podcasts I am doing for 2021. <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago, I did a podcast on The ABA Controversy or the controversy around Applied Behavior Analysis which has received some good accolades. So, if you missed it, please check it out. And today, I am going to give you another sneak peek into my upcoming book: Seeing Autism: Connection Through Understanding. This except i am about to read is on the experience of sensory flooding that so many autists find to be a part of everyday life for themselves. I have other podcasts on this subject, too, if you find it interesting. One is called “Riding High” that if you like today’s reading, you might find that podcast helpful as well.<br /><br />Here goes….SENSORY FLOODING<br /><br />For years people assumed that autistic people did not feel emotions in themselves or recognize them in others. By consulting with autistic adults, we now know this may be the exact opposite of the truth. They actually feel emotions more intensely than many of us. It is the ability to organize and make sense of those emotions in themselves and others that is confusing and overwhelming, causing them to either shut down or have what seem like overreactions.<br /><br />A young child, for example, may quickly get overwhelmed by sensory input and emotions. The parent’s well-intentioned sound effects and words combine with the child’s own stress level and may add to the overwhelm rather than alleviate it. A kind and otherwise generous child may not be able to attend to a peer who is upset due to the onslaught of sensory and social information happening around them. Instead this child may use behaviors that challenge themselves or others to regain clarity and temporary control. A teen or adult may retreat to their room rather than being able to figure out how to manage their own internal emotional rollercoaster. Add your frustration or disappointment to the mix, and the teen or adult goes into full shutdown mode.<br /><br />A man I have coached for approximately one year is exploring how we “feel” other people’s emotions. He is a very logical and concrete thinker, so he is not prone to simply believing that something happens due to its magical or spiritual qualities. He wants to figure out why and how he is overwhelmed by other people’s emotional states. He describes his experience as taking in enormous amounts of detailed information around him constantly. The information includes people’s facial expressions, gestures, and postures, in addition to the visual and auditory clutter that surrounds us at all times. The lights, sounds, colors, and movements around us result in a cacophony of sensory information.<br /><br />He uses an analogy to explain his experience: a computer would overheat under these circumstances and stop working. He posits that he is simply taking in too much sensory information for his own system to manage, prioritize, and organize efficiently.<br /><br />So in keeping with this understanding that people with autism are commonly and especially sensitive to the detailed information around them while being unable to successfully prioritize and manage it, we must pay particular attention to the elements we add as their partners. Your stress, your tension, and your low expectations of the autistic individual probably only add to that flood of sensory and emotional information. If you wish to engage, partner, and guide someone on the autism spectrum, your ability to be and stay regulated when engaging is critical. If you are anxious or overwhelmed, your partner in the interaction may react to that anxiety before you even have a chance to open your mouth to mitigate. Your emotions can be felt as “noise” that comes in as chaotic and difficult to manage.<br /><br />I’d like for you to imagine starting your day with a full cup of coffee, water, or tea. Each day we hopefully have been refreshed with sleep, which represents our restart, our full cup. As we go through the day, situations arise that require us to drink from that cup. These situations are neither positive nor negative; they are simply situations that our minds and bodies manage. We get dressed; we take a sip. We gather up our essentials for the day, and we take another sip. But then we are a little late for work, the news on the radio is upsetting, or the radio announcer’s voice is slightly annoying. Oof. Take a big sip. We are already looking at the bottom of our cup. It is almost empty. We sit down in our comfy chair ready to work. We turn on our computer, and it crashes, showing us only a pixelated screen (yes, this might have happened in the middle of writing this book). We sit back in our chair and drink the rest of the contents of our cup trying to think of what to do next. But then we are spent. We are depleted. Feelings of anxiety creep in as we realize our deadlines won’t be met and our online appointments will all need to be shifted. We are so overwhelmed with the new and added responsibilities that we stare at the computer screen, frozen.<br /><br />That depleted and overwhelmed feeling is familiar to a lot of us, but for people with autism, it reportedly happens regularly, maybe all of the time. Both autistics and neurotypicals need to figure out what works for us to rejuvenate or refill our cups throughout the day or week to be at our best. When we are depleted, our decision-making capacity and ability to take action are severely limited.<br /><br /><br />Thank you for listening to this excerpt from Seeing Autism: Connection Through Understanding due out this summer.<br /><br />Till next time….synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-13085150999017420772021-06-01T13:11:00.001-07:002021-06-01T13:26:29.643-07:00Episode #50: Excerpt from Seeing Autism: Connection Through Understanding - Due out Summer 2021<div><b>Early Social Reciprocity and Autism</b></div><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><i>Excerpt from Seeing Autism: Connection Through Understanding </i>- Due out Summer 2021<br /><br />By Barbara Avila, MS<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1059928672&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/early-social-reciprocity" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #50: MP - Early Social Reciprocity">Episode #50: MP - Early Social Reciprocity</a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjjXZr6r1vMxE2SDoFnIR73bn1rmnQMcta0qL-QLLSZ_-rPgQS6v2JKa-0PPlxmb5Ibanqo-c3nqn_YH4SkW8wxn98su76-lP_Ds9fbxUdLTfxKEj_V3lTEok31v2XiglqxLvhKz1GWNBb/s1080/podcast50.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjjXZr6r1vMxE2SDoFnIR73bn1rmnQMcta0qL-QLLSZ_-rPgQS6v2JKa-0PPlxmb5Ibanqo-c3nqn_YH4SkW8wxn98su76-lP_Ds9fbxUdLTfxKEj_V3lTEok31v2XiglqxLvhKz1GWNBb/s320/podcast50.png" /></a></div>There is one video that went viral on social media in 2020 that demonstrates social reciprocity and joint attention beautifully. In the video, a father figure and an infant are sitting side by side on a couch. They are watching a show together, and they each take turns “commenting” on the show. The baby is making sounds and gazing with exaggerated gestures. They do not seem to have any words yet. The father-figure is responding exuberantly with “I know, right?” and waiting for the baby’s next “comment.” The baby gestures and vocalizes at the TV, then to the father. The father then answers, “Really! Is that so?” and looks to the baby again. The back-and-forth feedback loop between them is adorable, but it also demonstrates the early social reciprocity and joint attention that happens well before a child’s first words. It is through these increasingly complex interactions that we find friendship, learn to collaborate with others, and find our sense of belonging and community.<br /><br /><br /><b>The Cascade Effect</b><br /><br />There are countless factors and variables at play helping our seeds of social engagement germinate and flourish throughout our lives. We may be in loving, caring homes that nurture the seeds of social reciprocity and joint attention. Or we may be in abusive homes that stunt or delay the seeds early in development. Just as easily, we may be in the idyllic environment for seeds to grow but our seeds themselves are not yet ready. They may need to gain strength and wellness within their own biological systems before sprouting into the world. Infants who later develop autism are born with the innate drive to socially connect just like everyone else. It is the developmental step from early, quiet, and simple social reciprocity to the complexity of joint attention that may not occur in the same manner—delaying language and social development.<br /><br />Autistic adults commonly report experiencing sensory input differently. The young child may be experiencing an internal landscape, making sensory experiences more vivid and potentially more overwhelming than the rest of us.<br /><br /><br />Again, “social reciprocity” is a diagnostic phrase used to refer to the back-and-forth mutual exchange between people. Social reciprocity starts early in development. A caregiver gazes at a baby, the baby looks back, and the two continue in a connected and fluid manner. The eye contact you might witness in this infant-caregiver relationship may be fleeting, but it also may be sustained. The infant may gaze at the caregiver, then look away, then look back again to the caregiver.<br /><br />Early infant research on social reciprocity guides us to understand how it supports later healthy development as well as how disruptions in this early stage can cause challenges later. For example, psychologists found that if a parent “chases” their infant’s gaze rather than allowing the infant to shift away and come back on their own, the child may get overstimulated and struggle with their own overall ability to calm themselves. In the 1960s and 1970s, child development researchers Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby helped the child development world understand the importance of early attachment with caregivers. The research has been primarily focused on the effects on the child when their caregiver is challenged by such mental health needs as depression or anxiety. Bowlby shared that “the early attachment experience creates internal working models—lifelong templates for preconceptions of the value and reliability of relationships, close and otherwise” (Rees 2007). The baby develops templates for their later social interactions in childhood, teen years, and even into adult life.<br /><br />It is only recently that we have seen research in early engagements where the child has sensory or regulation challenges within their own neurobiological system that impact their readiness for that early social engagement.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />To learn more about social engagement and the drive we all have for social connection, please look for its publication this Summer 2021.<br />synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-12475661897734466392021-05-22T16:22:00.002-07:002021-05-27T10:42:40.029-07:00Episode #49: MP - The ABA Controversy<br />The ABA Controversy<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1053757378&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/aba-controversy" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #49: MP - The ABA Controversy">Episode #49: MP - The ABA Controversy</a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhisFPgD2EHhc_DyKLCe7O6Y-ifLqomb3iDrAVgvKvsfvCO0iQzbqT3d97RGdVRWw7GBTZ2W1utLJNdCJOwfOGq9HrwgiCXJjekUcLvuZKWYZ8z3IS1DfsgVBu2Ne-qsLnQtF08ihnxE6IG/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhisFPgD2EHhc_DyKLCe7O6Y-ifLqomb3iDrAVgvKvsfvCO0iQzbqT3d97RGdVRWw7GBTZ2W1utLJNdCJOwfOGq9HrwgiCXJjekUcLvuZKWYZ8z3IS1DfsgVBu2Ne-qsLnQtF08ihnxE6IG/" width="240" /></a></div><br />Hello. I thought I would weigh in on the controversy over ABA, also known as Applied Behavior Analysis.<br /><br /><br />For those of you new to autism, ABA is now commonly prescribed by pediatricians as the 1st line of support when a child is diagnosed with autism. Families receive between 10-20 hours per week of support by an ABA trained center that is typically covered by insurance. A trained behavior technician visits the family’s home or the child attends the center for skill development. <br /><br /><br />However, there are many autistic adults speaking out against the treatment, stating that it is harmful and even abusive. I am a strong advocate for listening to autistic voices, so I am definitely listening here. Especially since I personally left being an ABA provider in 2005.<br /><br /><br />A little history, ABA or Applied Behavior Analysis, has been around for a very long time and has its roots in behaviorism and psychology. Basically, it is a way to observe, track, and remediate behaviors or habits - not specifically having to do with autism but human behavior. If you wish to stop smoking, you might use ABA to break down the situations and triggers that make you want to smoke - so that you can then create and train yourself in new ways to stop smoking - maybe doing something else instead. <br /><br /><br />Dr. Ivar Lovaas in the 1960’s began using ABA to address the challenging behaviors often associated with autism. His work was both ground breaking and upsetting in hindsight. His techniques were very often focused on the use of consequences for challenging behaviors. I was trained by one of Lovaas’ doctoral students in the 1980’s and was appalled to be asked to use a wooden spoon on a child’s behind when he asked to use the bathroom when it seemed he was trying to “get out of” some of our more challenging work together. I refused and actually quit, as they were requiring that I stick to that protocol. <br /><br /><br />As you can imagine, ABA, as with most therapies and approaches has changed, grown and evolved over the years. The focus is now much more on setting children up for success, breaking tasks down into manageable amounts for teaching and integrating play into lessons. The problem in my mind is, it is still focused on skills versus relationships, and is still very compliance focused. <br /><br /><br />I am not here to defend ABA, as I think the industry is lagging severely behind current research in the field indicating the importance of parent-mediated intervention and voices from those on the autism spectrum themselves. <br /><br /><br />What I will say, however, is that ABA has its place and there are now different types of ABA out there. But, I am not sure why we think that parenting or guiding a child with autism requires a completely different set of skills than used with other humans. Yes, we need to be more deliberate, mindful, and specific but that does not mean that we parent completely differently. In ABA, we currently bring young professionals into homes who are not parents themselves to guide our children with autism - telling parents essentially that they can do it better than they can. That is ludicrous in my opinion. Then these lovely young professionals move on to other training and their own lives, causing disruptions in the ability to form bonds and relationships long term. Again, why do we feel this is a good idea? <br /><br /><br />Now, again, I do think that ABA has its place. Just not front and center. We as parents need tools for addressing specific behaviors we wish to increase or decrease. We need to ensure our child knows, for example, to walk with us when in the community rather than running off away from safety. An ABA approach is perfect for this situation to ensure quality teaching for safety purposes. <br /><br /><br />However, ABA is still commonly telling a child to stop stimming and focus, for example, which may be an oxymoron - the child may need to stim TO focus. Or playfully engaging with a child when they are reading a book may be ideal for bringing the words to life but traditional ABA may try to reduce the off-topic questions or behaviors in favor of that focus on the discrete skill of reading.<br /><br /><br />So just like typical parenting… use ABA strategically. If you are a parent listening to this and you need help addressing specific behaviors that are either unsafe or important to you for other reasons, by all means, consult with an ABA provider. But do not simply surrender to them. They do not know your child as well as you do. And parent-mediated intervention is showing the best results so stay as informed about what they are doing as you can. If you need a break, knowing your child is safe and learning - contact an ABA provider. They might be able to go on walks, make a snack, and brush their teeth using some pretty awesome ways to break down the tasks so they are manageable and make sense for your child - but again, do not let this be the only way your child learns. <br /><br /><br />The world out there is a dynamic and social place. We want your child to be flexible, social, engaged, distracted sometimes, playful a lot, and curious about the world and others. ABA providers work for you. Tell them what you need and what you do not need. They will appreciate feeling successful with the things that are important to you and you will stay in the lead of your child’s upbringing. <br /><br /><br />If something makes you feel uncomfortable about what an ABA provider or anyone is doing with your child, please do not hesitate. Ask questions and ensure answers. These people all work for you. And you have choices. One provider may not work with your family and another very well might be an amazing fit. <br /><br /><br />Listen to autistic voices who are saying that the old ABA is abusive and the interventions you choose for your child should be more relationship based, interactive, supportive, respectful, and not compliance based. Be sure that your provider values and respects those autistic voices as much as you do.<br /><br /><br />History of ABA <br /><br /><a href="https://www.inbloomautism.com/post/the-history-of-applied-behavior-analysis">https://www.inbloomautism.com/post/the-history-of-applied-behavior-analysis</a><br /><br /><br />What is ABA?<br /><br /><a href="https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisedu.org/what-is-aba/">https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisedu.org/what-is-aba/</a><div><br /></div><div>What is ABA from perspective of autistic adult</div><div><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEhlSPB9w7Y">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEhlSPB9w7Y</a></div><div><br /><br />The ABA Controversy<br /><br /><a href="https://childmind.org/article/controversy-around-applied-behavior-analysis/">https://childmind.org/article/controversy-around-applied-behavior-analysis/</a><br /></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-13035905891386998432021-05-16T14:20:00.001-07:002021-05-16T14:20:44.499-07:00Episode #48: The Today/Tomorrow Routine<p>The Today/Tomorrow Routine </p><p>Helping someone understand the passage of time and planning for the future</p><p><iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1049912746&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" title="Synergy Autism Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/todaytomorrowroutine-podcast" title="Episode #48: MP - Today Tomorrow Routine Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Episode #48: MP - Today Tomorrow Routine Podcast</a></div></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-c4OSI6TAv_ScV7HhYR88pZSyR8U12bPHLwcx_qNoW6-4_HmlVi5AmhS6pegfiCehB4ykC05kV4JVSiug7PQpX1bWZGQRMS_gWVUbZssvWSjNZPEhd5egHQl2Cqpzdl3smJvJl5sh_0kv/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-c4OSI6TAv_ScV7HhYR88pZSyR8U12bPHLwcx_qNoW6-4_HmlVi5AmhS6pegfiCehB4ykC05kV4JVSiug7PQpX1bWZGQRMS_gWVUbZssvWSjNZPEhd5egHQl2Cqpzdl3smJvJl5sh_0kv/w297-h297/podcast48.png" width="297" /></a></div>Today, I am sharing one of my go-to tips for helping a person understand the passage of time across days as well as engaging with you in a bit of review and even planning.<p></p><p>Let's call this the Today/Tomorrow Activity or routine. It's something I recommend doing towards the end of your day together and typically for parents to do with their children of any age.</p><p>The idea is that you find a relaxed time together with few distractions. Present a blank piece of paper. Write "today" at the top. Then review together the events of the day. Write each event as simply and concretely as possible - use pictures or drawings if your child is not yet recognizing some single words.</p><p>Do not write the list alone beside your child but allow their attention to shift gently to the page before writing each event.</p><p>You might even decide to put checkboxes next to today's events and allow your child to mark off each one as you review the day's events.</p><p>Then turn to ta new page or simply turn the today page over. Write the word "tomorrow" at the top.</p><p>If you used checkboxes for today</p><p>s list, use checkboxes that you leave empty for the tomorrow list. This helps visually demonstrate that they are not yet completed as they haven't happened yet. Again, write the events you know are happening the next day. Slowly, deliberately, and gently allow their attention to shift to you and the page before each event is documented. </p><p>Start with just the big events rather than trying to list every little thing. This will help you and your child from getting overwhelmed. And remember to include events that your child enjoys as well as those they need to do - even though they may not be thrilled to do them.</p><p>Make this a routine together each night until your child starts participating by remembering things to add or starting to add things they'd like to do tomorrow.</p><p>Enjoy and for more information, tips, tools, and techniques., please check out my website and upcoming book due out this Summer.</p><p>And if you want to support this podcast, I am setting up a Patreon account and will announce that soon!</p><p>Till next time~</p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-37230555398052756942021-05-09T15:45:00.006-07:002021-05-09T15:48:23.158-07:00Episode #47: MP - Mother's Day Today and Everyday<p><b style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 20px;">Mother’s Day Podcast</b></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1045854292&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/mothers-day-podcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #47: MP - Mothers Day Podcast">Episode #47: MP - Mothers Day Podcast</a></div><p></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p class="p3" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicalmrnJEBeyHnz72qDFND2XJzCFmUYXV3Q0FZNMJ2uUYgnriS_aexWd5wZSryySeQTKFjD5Kd3urSAA7dNMxJgTZSxMdmLHT6nZxn_R6dHewV2slk8UTW61cQq4P8YyvJjDX5z8bw4rK-/s1080/podcast46+%25281%2529.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicalmrnJEBeyHnz72qDFND2XJzCFmUYXV3Q0FZNMJ2uUYgnriS_aexWd5wZSryySeQTKFjD5Kd3urSAA7dNMxJgTZSxMdmLHT6nZxn_R6dHewV2slk8UTW61cQq4P8YyvJjDX5z8bw4rK-/s320/podcast46+%25281%2529.png" /></a></div>Happy Mother’s Day today and everyday to all the moms listening. This podcast was recorded with you in mind. It has been a tough year for everyone but my hat is off to all moms who have taken on the additional demands of stay-at-home orders including online schooling, cooking and cleaning more, and enduring the emotional roller coasters of all those in your home.<br /><br />I have learned so much from each of the amazing mothers who I have been blessed to get to know through my work. You are warriors for your children. You tirelessly research so much that most you should have honorary degrees in autism, neuroscience, and/or pharmacology. I know you have exhausted days when you don’t think you can do any more...but you do anyway. I know you lose your shit sometimes and find the strength to apologize. I know that you cry when no one is looking and your child is not around. I know you have times when you feel no one is listening, caring, or even paying attention to you, your child, your family. But yet again, somehow you pull yourself up by those boot straps and give your precious energy to your child who needs you and your strength. I wish for you today that you find a moment or two to find a little something that makes you smile today. Have that cup of tea or stay in your jammies all day even if you still have to care for others, maybe you can find something that makes you smile. Call that friend, hug your partner a little longer than you usually do just because. Let go of something in your to do list so you can breathe. Add something that feeds you even if small. You deserve it even if you don’t think you do or you think you can’t possibly find the time. Buy yourself flowers or ask someone for help with something you usually take on yourself. I see you and I know you matter. <p></p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-66933975641598958372021-05-02T19:40:00.007-07:002021-05-04T06:33:36.889-07:00Episode #46: MP - Autism and Gender DiversityUnderstanding autism and gender diversity<br />What parents and professionals can do<div><br /></div><div><p style="font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1041448750&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></p><div style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Interstate, "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans Unicode", "Lucida Sans", Garuda, Verdana, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: 100; line-break: anywhere; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-break: normal;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Synergy Autism Podcast">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-46-mp-autism-and" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Episode #46: MP - Autism and Gender Neurodiversity">Episode #46: MP - Autism and Gender Neurodiversity</a></div><p></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IAbBH1g9kOF4mZ4EufMqHKMnyUjeWe-djqFsrmT0nNJLNoBI0Zfg0MY2TQ58aCBpJylqDneMx5Tpu4ovCTqBJwhtKTq_5EhiNoDnQdpzykWEap7OzNkA8AngpTscrw1Az5hWaL8uz_jM/s1080/podcast46.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IAbBH1g9kOF4mZ4EufMqHKMnyUjeWe-djqFsrmT0nNJLNoBI0Zfg0MY2TQ58aCBpJylqDneMx5Tpu4ovCTqBJwhtKTq_5EhiNoDnQdpzykWEap7OzNkA8AngpTscrw1Az5hWaL8uz_jM/s320/podcast46.png" /></a></div>I’ve been hesitant about doing a podcast this topic. It has been coming up more and more in my work and I still do not feel like I am an expert. But then I realized that as a cisgender and neurotypical Mom, I will actually never consider myself an expert on the topic of AutiGender. I can admit that and share what has helped me learn and support those who have autism and are gender diverse.<br /><br />As parents, our teens are discovering and exploring their identities, including gender, more than we ever did when we were growing up. Teens are amazing at challenging the status quo – especially when it might not make sense for themselves or others around them. Many of us were raised in a fairly traditional bi-nary manner regarding gender. We may find it difficult to wrap our heads around the gender fluidity in our next generation of wonderful humans. We might struggle with it feeling right or wrong (which is also a binary concept). We may fear a teen being an outcast from his peers due to not conforming to one gender or another.<br /><br />But think for a moment about your own teen years. Remember your own angst in trying to find your true self. You tried to distance yourself from your parents in both subtle and more substantial or even risky ways. You discovered who you were by testing the limits, taking risks, wearing different clothes, different make up, or listening to different genres of music. And when one of those fit your personality, you felt at home. You felt heard. You felt valued, and seen.<br /><br />I guess I don’t find it surprising at all that young people are testing the waters of gender fluidity. Its kind of fascinating and quite wonderful, in a way. Consider the fact that people in other cultures have been revered and considered spiritually elevated if they transcend gender. Maybe if we considered gender fluidity an evolution rather than a negative, we will all have a higher level of acceptance and humanity. I’m going to read from an article that I will also ensure in the show notes:<br /><br />“...<span style="text-align: center;">hundreds of distinct societies around the globe have their own long-established traditions for third, fourth, fifth or more genders. The concept of Two Spirits, which is derived from Navajo culture, believes they share both a male and female spirit and can be recognized and revered. The Hina of Kumu Hina is part of a native Hawaiian culture that has traditionally revered and respected Mahu, those who embody both male and female spirit as well.</span><br /><br /><a href="https://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/gender-identities-lgbtqia-nicci-port-sistergirls-brotherboys-sekrata-femminiello-bakla-muxe-muxhe-zapotec-oaxacan-xanith-oman-islamic-inca-quariwarmi-chukchi-iowa-state-daily/article_f87c6974-bcc7-11ea-a214-1fd0e937b13b.html">https://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/gender-identities-lgbtqia-nicci-port-sistergirls-brotherboys-sekrata-femminiello-bakla-muxe-muxhe-zapotec-oaxacan-xanith-oman-islamic-inca-quariwarmi-chukchi-iowa-state-daily/article_f87c6974-bcc7-11ea-a214-1fd0e937b13b.html</a>“<br /><br />I’m often astounded at how I think that the autism community is teaching us so much about humanity. Autists are more likely than their peers to not conform to their birth gender. Some studies are reporting that those who are transgender are 3-6 times more likely to be neurodiverse and/or on the autism spectrum. Many become transgender or non-binary – not feeling that any gender stereotype works for them. It is actually clear from our biology that we all have the hormones of both sexes so it seems logical that we would all have expressions of one more than the other, both, or not at all. And it makes sense that if you are someone who is not as let’s say “tuned in” to social constructs, you may not be as likely to follow the social construct that there are just two genders or that you have to be the gender that your gentalia dictated at birth.<br /><br />So what do you do if it’s your teen or young adult that is exploring their gender or has embraced a different gender than their birth gender? If you have been listening to my podcasts, you know that I like to ensure that you can walk away with something to try out. So true to form, here are 3 tips to keep in mind for better conversations with your teen or young adult who may be gender diverse.<br /><br />1. Move quickly away from trying to “fix” or “cure” your child from autism or gender “confusion.” You will only widen the divide between, if you do. Accept your teen for who they are now and in the future. They need to be celebrated, validated, and supported to explore and determine who they are in their own skin. You, even as their parents, cannot feel what they are feeling, You cannot think what they are thinking. You can only stand by and support the process - or not. Choose wisely.<br /><br />2. Adopt a team approach. None of us enjoy feeling alone. In fact, a colleague who I admire, David Pitonyak, is known to have said, the only disability is loneliness. He was referring to the commonly co-occurring condition of depression stemming from loneliness in the disability community. However, we can certainly extend that understanding of loneliness to all of us - in this age of so much depression and anxiety amongst our teens. So begin to use wording that gives your teen that sense that they are not going through this alone. Be sure they know that you are there to defend them and keep them safe. Help them navigate the world with this new understanding of themselves. Use “we” in your language as in “we will figure this out,” or “we are here for you.” I am not proposing that you solve any problems FOR your child but you can stand behind them ready for when they really need you.<br /><br />3. Help ensure balance. Your teen may be fairly consumed with this new understanding about their gender. Do not go down the rabbit hole and become all consumed with it as well. Keep expectations reasonable and balanced with household responsibilities for example. Ensure they still take out the trash and clear the table from time to time. Dropping those expectations completely undermines their overall balanced development. You can certainly share this idea with them directly. and problem-solve accordingly. For example, you might say “I know you have a lot to consider as you navigate high school and this new identity but we still need your help at home.” Please see podcasts on teen and adult conversations for more tips.<br /><br />4. Use gender neutral language as soon as and as frequently as possible. We are in a new phase of language that now includes gender neutral pronouns. Instead of she/her or he/his we more commonly use “they.” This is an immediate demonstration of your respect to not only them but their friends and community. Yes, I know it is challenging to change your pronouns but make the effort and ask your teen, spouse, and others to correct you until it feels more comfortable.<br /><br />I know that this mini-podcast just skims the surface of the complex interchanges you are having with teens in your homes and offices. I hope that you have heard something to take away and to ponder as we all move to a more welcoming stance with our fellow humans who may look, act, or think differently than maybe we do.<br /><br />I’ll be sure to put some of my favorite resources on this topic in the show notes. Many of these resources I have gleaned from the wonderful teens, adults, and parents in my practice. <br /><br />Please keep an eye out for my upcoming book, Seeing Autism: Connections through Understanding due out this Summer.<br /><br />Till next time -<div><br /></div><div>Barb Avila</div><div><a href="www.synergyautismcenter.com " target="_blank">www.synergyautismcenter.com </a><br /><br />RESOURCES FOR THIS PODCAST EPISODE<div><br /></div><div><a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-020-17794-1.pdf" target="_blank">Warrier, V., Greenberg, D.M., Weir, E. et al. Elevated rates of autism, other neurodevelopmental and psychiatric diagnoses, and autistic traits in transgender and gender-diverse individuals. Nat Commun 11, 3959 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-17794-1</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/u/0/#">Gender identities around the world</a><br /><a href="https://www.iowastatedaily.com/users/profile/Madison%20Mason">By Madison Mason, madison.mason@iowastatedaily.com</a> <br />Jul 2, 2020 Updated Jul 7, 2020<div><br /></div><div>Youtube videos:</div><div>1. Aaron Ansuini: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gciRLth3Pn8" target="_blank">The Overlap Between Autism, Transness, and EDS</a></div><div>2. Neurodivergent Rebel: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGsHu7UdtPo" target="_blank">Are Transgender and Gender Diverse People More Likely to be Autistic</a> AND <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmneogJXWoc" target="_blank">What is AutiGender? The Relationship Between Autism and Gender - An Autistic Perspective</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Sarah Hendrickx - many trainings and supportive content via their website</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://www.grattonpsychotherapy.com/" target="_blank">Finn V. Gratton, LMFT</a> - nonbinary and autistic</div><div>Book: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Supporting-Transgender-Autistic-Youth-Adults/dp/1785928031/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=finn+v+gratton&qid=1620008623&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Transgender Autistic Youth and Adults - Guide for Professionals and Families </a></div><div>Training video available on her website for free: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxJTcqGHQ1c" target="_blank">Supporting Trans Autistic Folks</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Spectrum News:</div><div><a href="https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/gender-and-sexuality-in-autism-explained/">https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/gender-and-sexuality-in-autism-explained/</a></div><div><br /><br /><br /></div></div></div></div>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5458577309222359753.post-1678506416412201582021-04-26T07:54:00.000-07:002021-04-26T07:54:17.719-07:00Episode #45: MP- Tips for Talking with Teens<p><iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1037057350&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast" title="Synergy Autism Podcast" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Synergy Autism Podcast</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/synergyautismpodcast/episode-45-mp-talking-with" title="Episode #45: MP-Talking with Teens" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Episode #45: MP-Talking with Teens</a></div></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-4359b83b-7fff-7bd7-255a-39ff5b10d5bc"><h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 20pt;"><span style="color: #454541; font-family: Arial; font-size: 22pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgd7lNuWOLd3wyiJrrhGSJ_cGrNXj1n9vHu5_vB_1LxE8KBTdwS84hjYaa_hk9ifigmM6jFMsc3lA65_0MfIefNytSrjYPO3h3vlQiN4xjosXn1IUxrW96obV5vELjCtCnfF-H_yeIzlT/s1080/podcast4+%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgd7lNuWOLd3wyiJrrhGSJ_cGrNXj1n9vHu5_vB_1LxE8KBTdwS84hjYaa_hk9ifigmM6jFMsc3lA65_0MfIefNytSrjYPO3h3vlQiN4xjosXn1IUxrW96obV5vELjCtCnfF-H_yeIzlT/s320/podcast4+%25281%2529.png" /></a></div>Keys to connected conversations </span></h1><ol style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Calm your own system</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sit down</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ensure a visual conversation as a focal point</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Make statements</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Get out of fix mode - listen without solving</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Slow down - give processing time - only talk as much as they talk</span></p></li></ol><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Teens with and without autism can be tricky to talk with sometimes. But there are some basic tenants to keep in mind that should make conversations not only more relaxed but more connected and two directional. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First and foremost, calm your own system first of you will set yourself up for failure before you even start. If your teen struggles with regulation, they will be borrowing your calm (or borrowing your stress).</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Next, be sure to figure out how you can have a seated conversation. Our bodies are more likely to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode when we are standing than when we are seated. And the awesome byproduct is that you are much less likely to put your teen’s system into fight, flight, or freeze if you are seated – as you are visually less of a threat.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ensure a visual conversation – or a simple pad of paper to write key points to your conversation. If you are wanting to have a conversation about sleep habits, write the word “sleep” on a blank piece of paper between you. This may feel awkward at first but if you or your child’s mind and attention wander at all, this will help bring you back to your shared topic. And by writing down simple words or stick figures as you talk, you can reference it later for your shared decisions or shared thinking. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Make statements rather than judgements. It is so easy for us to go down the path of frustration or stating what you think is the problem by saying something like “you never brush your teeth!” or “your music is too loud.” But consider making statements that start with the word “I” first and dive further into the issue at hand than the surface issue. “I am worried about you getting cavities,” or “I am having a hard time hearing you/thinking when the music is at that volume.” This invites your teen in versus fronting with defensiveness right away. Statements can guide the why behind the requests you have been giving them for years. “Brush your teeth” might have been once a compliance task now must shift to the why it is important to brush your teeth or you will have an adult who either does it out of sheer compliance (which is rare) or out of understanding its’ importance (which is longer term).</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Get out of fix mode - listen without solving – what this means is that you allow your teen to make a statement and you simply validate it. You don’t jump to what they should do or not do as a result. If the teen says they are anxious, you might say something like “I’m sorry to hear that.” If they say “I hate school,” you might follow with “I hear you, you really think school is awful.” We all have a strong need to be heard and if we aren’t feeling heard, we might fight to be heard. Think about how it feels to be told to “calm down” when you are anxious or upset. It doesn’t feel good or productive, does it. So don’t do it to your teen. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Slowing down and allowing processing time are very closely connected. We tend to want fix and that means trying to get quickly to an answer or a solution. But this rarely works with teens. We have to slow down and guide the processing now, as compliance-based teaching and guiding shouldn’t be our focus anymore. They need to learn to think for themselves for the long haul starting now. Teens (and all of us) all process at very different rates and we know that autists may have a harder time shifting their attention from one thing to another versus it having anything to do with processing ability – it may just be a matter of timing. Make that statement and sit with it. WAIT. Do not chime in to fill the awkward silence. Allow the time and the thinking to sprout and grow. Over feeding or over watering a plant will stunt it’s growth just as over talking will stunt a teens’ thinking. In fact, a good rule of thumb is to try to only talk as much as they do. If you are finding yourself doing all of the talking, chances are you that you are doing all of the thinking too. If they aren’t saying much, you shouldn’t either. It may take several rounds of fairly quiet or even silent shared space before your teen feels comfortable enough to share what is on their mind. The only exception here is if you have a teen who has a favorite topic they love to share about. They may share again and again with you simply listening, validating, and slowing down before they trust that they can talk about others subjects too. Be willing to keep going, keep listening, keep allowing their trust in you and in their own thinking to grow and flourish. This may take time.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you for listening to another episode of the Synergy Autism Podcast – mini-series. These shorter podcasts come out each week for the entire year of 2021. If you like what you learn here, I’d love for you to purchase my new book coming out this Summer titled Seeing Autism: Connections through Understanding. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wish you calm, collected, and connected conversations with a teen or teens in your life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3199999999999998; margin-bottom: 18pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666660; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Till next time~</span></p><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclm_-wi0K-QDqQupsx1vkPyHws01rD2erEU1xkb6byqpqFusZXDxxs-agmee1LI2w_x7bElcA6mfQ9mY-cne86KOXNwW_9KwtQ2ZhDYVxSIYNzIITRuGky_l5E2M-jenR58-8gpHrB2Tj/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div></div><p></p>synergyautismcenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07118615866919080087noreply@blogger.com0