Episode # 58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites
Episode # 58: MP - The Trouble with Favorites
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Synergy Autism Podcast. I am Barbara Avila and this is one of my 2021 mini podcasts which I produce almost every weekend based on some of the conversations I have in my work with individuals, families, and professionals.
I do want to mention, of course, that my book is out! You can find it anywhere you purchase your books. It only currently out in paperback but soon to be out as an ebook.
Today, I thought I’d return to a common dilemma faced by parents and professionals supporting autistic individuals and that is the concept of favorites. Most of us neuro-typicals have lots of favorites like favorite colors and favorite foods. But many autistic individuals struggle with the concept of favorites and may be unable to answer the question “which one is your favorite?” when presented with 2 or 3 nice and positive choices. Why!? What is going on?
Well, if you think about it, if someone tends to think in more black and white terms or more concrete- right or wrong terms, when they are asked or their favorite, they might think there is a “right answer,” rather than simply a preference. So if you ask them which is their favorite: chicken nuggets or french fries, they may not see the meaning of making one preferable over the other: they are both good.
Degrees of priority of favorites seems more challenging for many on the spectrum. They simply do not see the point. And at the same time, we as guides for children may also shy away from using emotional words when someone is a more concrete thinker. Afterall, emotions are a very grey area concept - they vary in degree and they come and go without a visual representation unless it is extreme.
So back to favorites, you may be thinking - hey, my child insists on using only the red cup or insists on only eating certain foods - isn’t that choosing favorites? Well, sort of. Let’s imagine the mind of an autistic child, teen or adult. As mentioned, they may be of the mindset that there are right and wrong answer to most questions.
The world is not as dynamic and so prioritizing is extremely difficult. So they might have had a red cup once and that was then the “correct” cup vs all of the other cup options. The concept of degrees of correctness is not the same for those who process in more dynamic terms.
Some of you may have heard of PECS. This stands for Picture Exchange Communication System. This system utilizes and supports a person to learn how to use pictures to communicate their choices. The first level of a person learning the system is to offer a choice of two objects and the pictures that are associated with them. When the individual reaches for the object, they are supported to take the picture and hand it to the receiving person to then access that object. Commonly people start using this system during snack time at school when a student might be highly motivated to eat, for example. However, it is frustrating to me that people seem to skip over the very first step as outlined by the creators of this system: and that is to help someone understand the concept of preference. According to the creators (at least several years ago when I used PECS in my classroom), you were to offer two objects and the corresponding pictures but one of the options or objects should be something very neutral compared to the other object. So one might offer a tissue with a picture of a tissue and a handful of goldfish with a photo of goldfish. If the child then reaches for the tissue, they are given the tissue. They learn quickly that it is important and makes sense to choose one over the other. If you offer goldfish and cheese crackers with their corresponding photos, you will never know whether they are really making a preferential choice.
So anywho. I thought some of you might enjoy this food for thought on why autistic individuals may have trouble choosing one thing over another - remember it is a grey area or a matter of degree that is more challenging as a concept for them.
Now some of you may also be wondering, okay, now what do we do with that? Do we just give up and not support someone in learning to make a choice between two or more options? No, of course not. What I suggest is (and you have probably heard me say this a gazillion times but you are going to hear it again…) make it visual. I am a huge fan of people having what I call visual conversations with one another. It may feel awkward at first but allow it to simply supplement your words as you are talking or offering choices. In this case, consider creating a Likert scale - that’s the one where you have to rate something on a scale - for example 1 being never or awful and 10 being always or awesome. So consider using a Likert scale and visually representing what you perceive might be things on the extremes…. So for me, I would put strawberries on the very low end of that scale because, yes, I really don’t like strawberries, and I would probably put chocolate on the high end…. With some of the other common foods in the middle. I might share my preferences first and then help the individual with theirs. It may take time but often just putting it into more concrete and visual terms can significantly help an autistic person grasp the concept quickly.
So there you have it. The trouble with favorites.
Don’t forget, my book Seeing Autism is available now on Amazon or where you find your books. I am a fan of ordering from local bookstores, personally. And if you’d like a signed copy, I am happy to send one to you personally. Email me at barbara@synergyautismcenter.com and be ready to pay for the book and shipping to wherever you might be.
Thank you for listening. I really appreciate you. Till next time -
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