Episode #33: (Mini-Podcast) Avoiding Yes/No Questions



Episode #33: (Mini-Podcast) Avoiding Yes/No Questions








Avoiding Yes/No Questions

Just a quick one today. I’d like to share with you why it is helpful to avoid questions that have a yes or a no answer with people who are autistic. 

Not really offering a "no" option?
First, if you are not wanting the answer “NO,” simply don’t ask a yes/no question. And if you do ask one on accident, you have to honor their answer.  Your words are important and mean something. Do not confuse the issue by giving a choice then taking it away. For example, if you ask someone “do you want to come with me?” when you really mean “it is time to go,” you may receive the answer of “no.” In which case, you will have to honor their response.

Don't back someone into a corner or they will choose the out
Second, if you ask a yes or no question to someone who feels backed into a corner, they may simply answer the one that gets them out of the situation. “Did you do this?” when in trouble may result in a “no,” simply to escape the confrontation.

Avoid mindless responses
Next, asking a yes/no question for more everyday situations allows the person to answer without really thinking much about the question. “Did you eat lunch?” or “Did you see Ms. Smith today?” when asking about their day, will likely yield mindless yes/no responses that you either can’t really trust or really don’t give you the back and forth engagement you were truly looking for.

Provide options and narrow the field
So what to do instead? Sure, the opposite would be to ask completely open ended questions. However, most people with autism get overwhelmed by the sheer number of possible answers to open ended questions. So I recommend narrowing the field to a manageable number of options for that person. For some, this may be giving two choices and for others, it may be just narrowing the question. So “what do you want to eat?” becomes either “do you want an apple or a piece of cheese?” or “what do you want to eat from the fridge?”

Give them personal agency (a sense of control over their own lives through choices)
Providing someone with choices or questions without being too open ended has the added benefit of giving the person what is called personal agency - or the sense of control over their own lives. This is essential for everyone to feel valued, respected, and seen.

I hope this little advice has been helpful. It will take practice to move away from too many yes/no questions and to find the right level of choice you can provide that works well for the person in your life with autism.
 
Until next time, please take care of yourselves and one another.
For more information, please go to my website: www.synergyautismcenter.com
Stay tuned for next week's mini-podcast.
And mark your calendars for my upcoming book - out June 15th, 2021




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Episode #65: Let's Talk Inclusion For ALL

Episode #19: Regulation is Required for Curiosity to Thrive

Episode #56: MP - Paralyzed by The Ripple Effect