Episode #37 - MP The 50% Rule The 50% Rule By Barbara Avila, M.S. Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #37: MP 50% Rule People learn through partnerships with others. We first learn through our parents and caregivers and then through friends, relatives, neighbors, and teachers. We observe, integrate our experiences, and determine our strengths and interests in relation to others. Many individuals with autism struggle with the basic foundations of relationships for learning through partnerships. As a result, they may take full control of a situation, or allow others to take full control, becoming passive as the other does the work in the interaction. For individuals on the spectrum, sharing control within interactions for learning can be limited. If they control the situation, they are not open to new ideas or ways of doing things. If they allow the other person to take complete control, they are passive receivers and do not learn to think for themselves. In school programs and social...

 Episode #36: MP (Mini-Podcast) - Resist the urge to solve Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #36: MP- Resist The Urge To Solve So this is one my favorite topics when coaching parents, professionals, and individuals on spectrum themselves. Today I’m giving you the golden ticket for helping someone you know think for themselves. That golden ticket is for you to resist the urge to solve problems for someone with autism. And if you, yourself, have autism, you can ask those around you to stop solving problems for you - as you would like like to learn  to do it for yourself. Let me take a step back for a moment. We are learning through research studies that the act of shifting ones’ attention early in development is an indicator of autism. I mention this so that you can consider the fact that people with autism frequently need more time to shift their attention from one thing they are thinking about or doing before being able to attend to your question, comment, or even something o...

 Episode #35: Riding High Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #35: (Mini-Podcast) Riding High Today, I am talking about what I call “riding high.” No, I am not talking about bicycling or getting high, even though I live in Oregon.  I am talking today about our neurobiological systems working on overdrive and I call this “riding high.” I see most of my clients “riding high” so frequently and so often that it is their norm - so that others around them do not even know it is happening for them. I had an older client once tell me, autistics may not know what “safe” really means so I should reframe the conversation to simply “avoiding danger.” As I am producing this in the middle of the Covid19 pandemic and the 2021 Inauguration of our new administration, I am going to guess that a few of you, my listeners, may be able to relate with this “riding high” while still having to semi-function at work, in your families, and communities. You might equate this with driving a car too fast in ...

Modeling Relationships At Home Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #34: (Mini-Podcast) Modeling Relationships At Home I am so glad you are here. It means you are committed to providing the best environment for relationship growth for you, a child, or a companion with autism.  I know you hear it all of the time: it is important to take care of yourself so that you can care for someone else. However, I want to give you even more reason to take care of yourself and introduce you to why couple-care and friendship-care is equally important for modeling a home filled with rich and satisfying relationships. For the sake of simplification, I am going to assume that you are a parent, raising a child of any age who has a diagnosis of autism. You may be a single parent, you might be married, you may be a foster parent.  First: I’ll let you in on something: people with autism are commonly taught to worry about what others think of them, that their stimming behaviors should stop since they ...

Episode #33: (Mini-Podcast) Avoiding Yes/No Questions Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #33: (Mini-Podcast) Avoiding Yes/No Questions Avoiding Yes/No Questions Just a quick one today. I’d like to share with you why it is helpful to avoid questions that have a yes or a no answer with people who are autistic.  Not really offering a "no" option? First, if you are not wanting the answer “NO,” simply don’t ask a yes/no question. And if you do ask one on accident, you have to honor their answer.  Your words are important and mean something. Do not confuse the issue by giving a choice then taking it away. For example, if you ask someone “do you want to come with me?” when you really mean “it is time to go,” you may receive the answer of “no.” In which case, you will have to honor their response. Don't back someone into a corner or they will choose the out Second, if you ask a yes or no question to someone who feels backed into a corner, they may simply answer the one that gets ...

MPS: Spoon/Token Theory Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #32: Spoon/Token Theory for Autism Hello and welcome to the Synergy Autism Podcast where I bring listeners the inside view of our autism community and how passionately we all work for the same mission - to better understand autism together.  This is one of my Miniature Podcasts where I take just one topic that I commonly discuss with clients and share it with you in a short and hopefully clear manner for you to contemplate and consider how it relates to your personal situation. So today,  I am going to share with you the topic of never seeming to have enough energy which often looks like sleeping all day, for many of my clients (or it can look like simply holing up in one’s room playing video games, reading, listening to music). This issue comes up frequently with my clients who are trying desperately to be independent but struggling to have enough energy to simply get through days. Medical appointments and/or job searc...

Creating an Emotional Landscape at Home Synergy Autism Podcast · Episode #31 (Mini-Podcast): Emotional Landscapes Hello and welcome to the Synergy Autism Podcast where I bring listeners the inside view of our autism community and how passionately we all work for the same mission - to better understand autism together.  This is one of my Miniature Podcasts where I take just one topic that I commonly discuss with clients and share it with you in a short and hopefully clear manner so that you can contemplate and consider how it relates to your personal situation. Today, I am going to talk about the importance of creating an emotionally rich (and clear) landscape in your home, what that means, and a few simple steps to do it.  Now, you ask… what is an emotional landscape? Well, it’s created by both the said and unsaid emotions within you and each person around you. You have an internal emotional landscape as well as an external emotional landscape. We all experience emotions, aut...